I have a sincere question, and my intention is not to debate "religion" and such, but rather to probe human understandings about life and death; i.e. I am not being coy or tricky, but really wondering something. (it might be better if we met on the other curezone nde debate forum(i think it is called that; I will check there to see if you answer on that forum). You said "depending on whether he is good or not he is punished in the grave". What do you believe makes a person "good" and another person "bad" to God? This is a very important question to me to help me to better understand the world I live in. Also, I am sorry about the death of your husband. Maybe he is trying to comfort you or to tell you something about the life beyond this one.