I understand how you feel. I have lost faith also in a lot of things and human beings. I find comfort in my dog ..the only person i can trust.
Your mom is in a better place. You will see her again.
there is a woman dr. kilde who wrote a book "we don't die"..i watched her video on youtube. she has fascinating stories of how she knows there is life after death.
I understand how you are going through health issues. I am too. Sometimes i just want to end it all..i mean just end my life. it's just too much sadness.
I hope that everything works out for you. you seem like a nice person. you have a dog and a sister who love you!