Re: If given a 2nd chance, could this relationship be healthy?

I'm going through the same thing myself. My ex wants to try again and says that she's changed her ways. She's an emotional/verbal abuser. She says that a lot of her issues come from being abused when she was a child. Her father was bipolar and her brother is bipolar. She just found out that she is bipolar. Needless to say, I know more about HER than I know about myself. I can see now that I have a long way to go in my recovery. I want to help her get better. What about ME? I've been through a lot and moved out in May. I am really insecure right now and do not trust anyone. My therapist says that you'll just "know" what is right when you start trusting yourself and believing in yourself. So I guess what I am saying is that YOU will have to decide for YOURSELF how YOU feel about the situation. Life is made up of decisions and choices. If you don't feel good about what is going on, then YOU need to be your own advocate and stick up for yourself. And YOU have to spend time on yourself -- all that wasted energy spent trying to be "supportive" of others, (i.e. trying to change people).

Okay, didn't mean to get on a soap box. But I seriously know how you are feeling. I second guess myself all the time. I'm never sure if what is going on is supposed to be part of a normal married life or if it is something that is not acceptable. The thing is, I can be the one to decide if it is acceptable or not! I don't have to go by anyone else's rules for marriage. I feel free in that knowledge. I don't have to stick it out with her just because we're married and we have kids. She has a daughter and I have a daughter from previous relationships.

Anyhoo.....just my 2 cents Tweet