Re: Angry about not being told

yeah, me too. I'm not suggesting that you take her to the doc or pick up her poison, just let her know in other ways.
If your mom is like my mom was, she may very well see your actions as criticism of her choices, NOT as an expression of love(which I know it is).
Express love to her on her terms, try to understand her as a human, now. And not just as your mom.
Enjoy the time that you have with her. Man, it breaks my heart, it really does. I so know how you feel. I'm crying.

Look at how many people have the same story, just in this thread.