Re: Am I a freak? (Long story, please bear with me!)

Often good and intelligent people like yourself believe that everyone else is the same. They are not.

You will feel different from others most likely for the rest of your life and there is nothing wrong with that. I loved reading your post especially the part about your belief in friendship love and sex being parts of the same thing - a deep loving relationship. It was a breath of fresh air.

You are "an anomaly" in the most positive sense: in a world full of stupidity and alienation, you are smart and very much in touch with yourself.

The only, but VERY important, "not smart" thing you did was to go into a stranger's home. You'd probably never hurt anyone just to take advantage of them, so you didn't worry about that, but others are not like that. Famous or not, strong or weak, many people will sacrifice another's well being for their own personal goals. Make sure you remember that. Frankly when I read the part of you taking a drink in his house, I was expecting a rape drug to be in it. Luckily it was not. Next time it may very well be. I know a girl who went to a party with her high school friends and had a drink there. The drink had a rape drug in it, she was raped repeatedly by a group of "friends" and in the process acquired a sexually transmitted disease which is incurable. Later she turned to drugs and her life is completely ruined; she is constantly depressed, angry and can't quit drugs. That's just one example, and that girl had all the reason to believe she was safe; after all, she was going to a party with her "friends"!

When someone wants to go out with you, and you want to go out with them just as much(!), especially if it's not a good old friend, but someone new, then you go to the most public place you can imagine (his or her house being exact opposite). Not even a "party" or someone's place. And when you meet someone over the net, you don't trust anything they write even if they are "famous" until you meet them in person (in a well lit public place where rape or physical attack is impossible). Written words are so weak compared to meeting someone in person, so don't trust what you learn about someone from reading their messages. And when someone is making sexual inuendos, it is a clear sign of what she or he is after.

As for your attitude about sex, I totaly agree with you. Your partner needs to be your lover, needs to be totaly in love with you, needs to be your best friend and above all needs to have respect for you and for himself. You may feel a little lonely because of your beliefs, but that's much better then being misearable like "everyone else". Tweet