Re: No, you're not a freak, he is.

Hi :).

Thank you - It took me awhile to decide whether to post at first; public forums being the unknowns that they are :), and I typically do not visit this forum.. So it's very important to me to know that my effort has made a difference- Thank you for your kind words :).

The point I would now like to make is:

Your ethics, as you have described them, seem fine to me- As long as you're dealing with people like yourself. Unfortunately, you aren't always dealing with people like yourself in this world. That "little feeling" is your barometer.

That little "feeling" is *your clue* that you are dealing with something which is *outside* your ethics.

At *that point* is where your sense of 'ethics' can be used against you, by someone who wants to manipulate you by using them against you.. to trap you.

The Wheelicreep kept on going with his step-by-step plan (Because you didn't leave) until he could gauge the likelihood of success of his own agenda. Keep testing, testing, testing until you get it- That was what he was doing. (That is also what worms do to an apple, and what does it get the apple?)

Listening to that little "inside message" you get, and then *acting upon it*, is CRUCIAL. If you don't act upon it, you might wind up sticking until you "understand" what's going on. (That is a natural impulse of the desire to learn and know, which _in other contexts than this scenario_ is quite healthy). However, some things are far, far better left unlearned- Such as how, exactly, this fool was planning to screw you up, and how you might have had to live through the aftermath..

If some other person has a mind which works differently than yours- And sometimes (Especially when it comes to the web) you cannot know, it might be a very sick one- You don't want to try to "understand" it. Often there *is* no "understanding" it, as it may be a chemical malfunction- The mental/emotional links are all wrong and crosswired and shortcircuited. I have seen much of that in people who have a history of recreational drug use or brain medication use (Which I don't).

So once again, here is what I suggest you do:

Think about these things-

1. While you were growing up, there was a (perfectly valid) need to demonstrate your learned lessons and your evolving fitness to live constructively in this world-To your parents, or to whoever your caregiving authorities were. Acting upon your (excellent) learned ethics was a requirement to demonstrate constantly, because your successive rites of passage depended upon that, and the desired response was (a clear conscience and) the approval of those caregivers.

2. Once you have grown past a certain landmark (Such as now), now you have to make choices *for yourself* about when to enact your learned lessons, or about when you are facing a questionable energy (Like the wheelicreep) which may be insidiously trying to suck you outside of the healthy boundaries which you have thus far learned.

3. Once the energy you are facing has tipped its hand, so to speak, you have to make a choice about how to proceed.

That little feeling is tied to *your ethics* and *your safety* now, it acts as your caregivers used to.

If you don't LISTEN and proceed according to *yourself* (I mean that "little feeling"), you can be trapped. That little feeling message is your pointer to "outta here".

In this way, your ethics have evolved into a *choice* which you constantly demonstrate to yourself (As now you have become your own primary caregiver) and the choice leaves you with a clear conscience.

However, you are not required to enact your ethics toward someone who is clearly NOT a loving caregiver, and who is trying to con you, or wants to trap you and use them against you.

Stay safe, my dear

Ladylove :)
PS: I understand. Showing someone that you are uncomfortable, in a way implies that you are "seeking guidance", or are open for direction.. That's an invitation which any manipulator will leap upon.. They will often try to evoke that feeling of uncomfortableness in you deliberately- Are you beginning to understand what I am saying, in the context of what happened to you with this creep?

PPS: The important message here is- Get out when that feeling comes up. That way you are free to interact in a healthy way, with the more normal people with whom you have chosen to surround yourself. Then you don't have to be worried about this other lowlife junk. -L Tweet