i have to agree that this would be called rape.
not to say that i'm an expert or anything, but based on what little research i've done and my own personal expereince i have to say that being submissive is still not a consent, and the fact that you're really screwed up over it is evidence that there was no part of you consenting.
furthermore, rape is all about you taking the blame on yourself, that's what keeps you screwed up. so, even if you forgive the individuals involved, you have to be able to shift the blame from yourself.
in rape you loose control over the situation. you can't do anything for yourself. blaming yourself is a way to take back some measure of control. unfortunately it also keeps you from letting go of the situation and forgiving yourself for the role you played in it.
if only for the healing processes, it could really help to think of it as rape.
here's one way to help figure it out. when i don't know what i should do i ask myself, what's the last thing i want to do? is it harder to call it submission, or is it harder to call it rape? whichever is harder and brings out more emotion is probably the correct response.
don't lie to yourself, if the pain feels more real for one or the other, then go with it and see where you end up.