I'm at work so I can't read you post as thoroughly as I'd like but yes, obviously what you say makes sense. Here's what you don't understand though, I cannot let my body heal itself and do Colon Cleanses etc. The absolute horror(there's no adjective I can think of that can describe what I felt, but it's more than horror) of anxiety and panic is not worth it to be alive. So if it takes putting a bandaid on it so I don't have to feel like that, then so be it. I really can only do so much. Make sense?