In answer to your question, yes... anger can bind people together just as any strong emotion can. Also much of what you are describing is not specific to men, so the problem is not simply a function of too much testosterone.
I am guessing that you may have a considerable fear of true intimacy, which is extremely common for both men and women. I would elaborate on this further, however, I am quite pressed for time. I just wanted you to know that I have some understanding of what you are going through and that you are not a 'bad' person. Many of your behaviors are inappropriate, although they are an indication of your own pain and fears.