Re: Cheated on again

Oh my god...what a horrible situation. Amy is nuts, or abusive or narcissistic or incredibly immature. I don't know which, but I'm willing to lay money on all the above. It's the money that's the problem, right? You know the woman is not worth your time or emotional energy.

My gut feeling, if you were my friend and I was sitting right in front of you, I'd say kick the woman out. While she is gone on one of her little jaunts, pack up her crap and have it waiting for her. Tell her not to speak, to pick up her shit and leave. Tell her to forget your phone number, leave your damn email alone. Dude, it's the only way to gain your self respect back. Then you can figure out how to deal with the financial situation.

Tell your Landlord you are in trouble and ask for help on how to handle this. Start looking for a roommate or a place to live. Do not leave your place with her still there, you need to be in control of the rent, the utilities or whatever there is to dispose of or take care of.

You could tell Amy that you are going to sue her ass, so she better write you a check for all your losses, or she can call mommy and daddy for the money or hit up this dude Jerry for some cash. Take whatever assets you bought together if you need reparation. You are a big boy, and big boy's do not let petty people take them to the cleaners. There are ways to deal with this.

I'm telling you my friend you need to take control. I don't know how to be more clear, the woman is playing you. Do you want to be an easy target? No you do not. Don't put up with this at all. But you are not going to get it together as long as she is there in your space.

You will be OK. If you just start making these moves you'll be shocked at how it will work out. There may be some financial repercussions, but in the end it will be over and done and you will not have to deal with this anymore. But it all starts with you saying, No, this is not what I want and I refuse to let this person drag me down.

Emotionally, love is hard as hell. I can't sugarcoat that. But this is not love, this is abuse.

This is what I see happen next. Amy is going to freak out. She is going to be pissed at you. And run to whomever. And soon, VERY soon after is going to call you to make things right. And she's going to want you back. And what are you going to do then? You are going to remember how shabbily she treated you and you will go and find another woman who isn't....how should I put this? Nuts.

I love people that are cheating on someone become so self righteous. It's comedic in a way. How dare you talk to another woman! How dare you say personal things to your Brother! My god, how dare you do that? And while you were doing that, what the hell was she doing? Let's weight this out, shall we?

I know I'm being redundant here, but I'm trying to give you a virtual slap across the face, which, as I said before, if I was sitting across from you, and you were my friend, I'd seriously have to slap you upside the head.

I was exactly where you are right now. And it all worked out fine. It was over 25 years ago, and it sucked. I barely remember it clearly, like some hazy crappy dream I had once. But had I not left and gotten myself out of the situation I have no idea what my life would be like right now. And I look back and wonder how I could have been so stupid. But really, I wasn't stupid, I was in love, just like you. So don't beat yourself up, we've all loved stupidly and have survived brilliantly. Just like you will do.

Go forth, be brave, tell the woman to get the hell out and don't take no for an answer.

Good Luck.

Molly




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