Re: Rape, abuse, shame, (sexual abuse)

I agree w/ soulfulsurvivor...and I have found that from other posts...and posts involving me...I agree with them....
You naturally want to find the cause and person that hurt her - and react....your daughter doesnt need that. This is one of the main reasons I have found for my kids not wanting a parent to find out they were attacked. Fear of the parent's reaction. Usually wanting to go hurt the aggressor. All this leaves is the victim with one less support person in their life, since mom or dad will be in jail for attacking some guy for "allegedly" raping their daughter. Or, she may be scared of your reaction...will you blame / ridicule / disbelieve her. Not all thoughts are logical, especially in a time like this, so don't take her thoughts personally. Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing...just be there for her...let her sit, give her a safe place to be, no pressure. She will talk when she is ready and when she thinks u are ready. And let her know it is ok for her to be mad at you...for anything. And probably she will have a lot of rage that needs to come out. Maybe why she is cutting, since she doesnt feel safe in being mad and that energy has to come out....in some manner.
hang in there...and like someone else said...you seeing a counselor, making you stronger, will also help her, and may get her more involved in her treatment. Tweet