Re: I listened to the link Monica provided...

Hi Alison,

thank you for your reply. You were able to 'hear' it, moreso and I appreciate that.

"When I look at your screen name it brings to mind born to reflect".

My name is Beth B... thus the B2. Beth B reflect...it is similar to what you saw.

"Trees and outside is wonderful for the spirit--I would try to do that without taking any pictures--without trying to hold onto a past moment, but instead just allowing the grace of life to flow through you, and let it go. I sense your feeling that even this "good" appointment you have tomorrow is something you "have to do" is your still small voice trying to be heard through the outside clamour."

My intention was to walk and FEEL alive! Connect with Spirt (mine and the Universe, or inclusive). You are right, my Still small voice is attempting to 'scream' for me to LISTEN to it! I will be doing so.

"but I think when it comes to the feeling that one is crying out inside to stop seesawing between wanting and getting and especially elation and 'flatness', it is a cry from the spirit of Silence and Stillness that it is malnourished--just as real as if it were being fed nothing but junk."

When I made this appointment, I was not 'feeling' discomfort from Me...or so I thought. Now, I see and feel the 'seesawing'. So, I understand this quite thoroughly. I understand that I am 'starving' (LOL too bad not body wise ;D..kidding) my Being, without giving it the attention it needs, as well as giving my body what it desires. I understand its realness, truly.


"It is the ego that constantly seesaws between joy (usually counterfeit)
and despair (ditto), because it always seeks "more". more attention, more ideas,
more distractions, more input, more adventures, more elations = more solidity and more "belief" in this body-mind as the thing that constantly needs our attention."

As far as harsh, no worries, I understand it. I also realize that my ego is 'tripping out'. In the last 28 months, I have left my comfort zone dramatically and extremely. I stopped drinking, dating, having sex (didn't have to date for that, just needed a man). I learned more about me and my beliefs that were not necessairly congruent with what I was brought up to believe. I am now attempting to release sugar, more beliefs and become more Whole as a BodyMindSpirit phsyical being. My ego is FREAKING OUT, RIGHT ABOUT NOW!!!! I get what you are saying. I see this is why I am having a difficult time in sitting with myself.

OMG! I SEE this is why I am having a difficult time in sitting with myself. I have not got IT until just now, in typing this response! Thank you Alison!

"Filled with love, and nutritionally balanced. Guaranteed! Best of all (and I think your intuition is sensing this)it is not something you have to seek,
or go looking for.In fact there is nothing "needed"--ironic, given that you said you needed something."

Ironic indeed because although there is nothing 'needed' there is a need to come back to ME~!

"It is already there--all "you" have to do is 'show up' and let go of "getting".
Oh--and, forgive yourself for feeling 'late'. Why not just sit and breathe slowly and gently, for about ten minutes, and thank yourself for it. Now, I'm going to go and sit with myself."

Thank you Alison, for this reply. It was head on! I will be doing this...and the forgiving part will be until I 'feel' I have released my 'beating on myself'. I will sit with myself. I must. It is time!

Be in Joy,
Beth

OH and yes, I am still going to 'pamper' my body later today. Yet, while I am doing that and relaxing I will give my Self permission to be with me and tell me what I am not hearing.





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