Re: New needing help.....

Hi,

The entire purpose of AA's program of recovery is to provide a relationship with a higher power that will replace an alcoholic's relationship with alcohol. It *is* an either-or situation. Abnormal drinkers (i.e. alcoholics) have a different physical relationship with alcohol than normal drinkers -- a craving is enacted by the first drink which leads to more and more drinking.

If an alcoholic with that physical craving could stay away from the first drink, then AA would not exist! However, a mental obsession to drink again and again, characterized by a lack of ability to remember negative consequences of prior sprees and the thought in some form or another that "it will be different -- I'll stop early/drink successfully/etc. this time," dominates the alcoholic's mind and inevitable takes him back to the first drink.

I suggest to MM that she involve herself in service of some sort. That's the best way to get out of one's head -- by being helpful to others. Self-esteem will grow with the accomplishment of estimable acts. Right feelings will follow right action -- do some volunteer work and get a sense of who you are in relation to others through service, and you'll be on the road to recovery from the jerk in your life! AA is really pointless unless, and that's a big unless, you are an alcoholic:

1) once you take a drink, it is virtually impossible to stop drinking; and
2) nonetheless, you keep going back to that first drink, expecting different results.

That's for her to decide -- though I think given her situation, the same thing that helps many people might help her, too -- service to those she can help.

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