hello mallisamouse...

sounds like you are definitely at a turning point in your life... and the truth of the matter is that regardless of whatever situation you find yourself in... be it good or bad... drinking will never solve your problem... (but of course i'm sure that it will seem to be doing a fine job while you're drinking)... but those feelings are always false... so try to keep it foremost in your mind that in the long run... drinking will always make matters worse... never better...

right now... i think you are only a potential alcoholic... because at this point you seem to have some control of whether you drink or not... so pay close attention to your motives... your intentions... are you really doing everything you can to avoid drinking... or are you unconsciously seeking to be around those that drink so that it gives you an excuse drink... this is something that only you can decide... but i will tell you this much from my own experience... the more often you drink... the more chemically dependent you will become... until you reach the point that you seem unable to function without it... from there your drinking will rapidly get worse... it always gets worse... never better...

from what you have said... it sounds like you have a compounded problem... that of being in an abusive relationship... and don't seem to have the courage necessary to stand your ground... that is why i think it would be well for you to seek out a good AA meeting to go to... try to find a female that you can share your problems with... preferably one that has long termed sobriety... this way you will have a sober person that will be more than willing to give you the support you need...

wish i could be of more help to you... but at this point this is the best i have to offer...

i wish you the best...
take care...
God bless...

You are on the right track trying to steer away from situations where alcohol is used.
One needs to understand that far too often people go from one dependency to another.
For example AA in my opinion is just like that!
Replacing alcohol with either religion or AA will not really do much for yourself, other than temporarily shift your focus away from alcohol.
Find a way to build up your inner strength, a bodybuilding, studying, meditating or any other method of improvement!
Become a better person and you will look up to a new sober yourself!
I have been on different roads.
Religion has its place but not as a replacement to alcohol.
AA probably too, I have never needed one and have no opinion on it other than it is only focus sifting replacement!
Concentrate to yourself and life is yours.

emofree.com Try it. It might help. Also, you can search on youtube.com for EFT videos. I second Drofinnah's post. Get yourself to an AA meeting. My problem is that I don't have female friends either. A lot of the ladies around here like to drink and I'm not a drinker. We don't need that girl!