Re: is anyone out there?

Hi Stinkbum and everyone else who has replied or can relate to these issues,

I understand and truly feel for you. I have had a similar problem all my life as far back as I can remember. I can feel that I smell and that its mainly connected to my bowels, but the smell seems to just seep out of me without any control, especially at times when I especially don't want it to! I can feel movements inside me and I feel like the odour is somehow released through my skin and hair. My armpits and feet are sometimes a problem too but not all the time and I have to keep changing deodorant to keep the smell at bay, but some deodorants make me smell 10 times worse.

I suffered the torture of school and its obvious problems for people like us - sitting next to others, queuing up, people having to walk by, comments that make you die inside, etc...... But I just kept it all in and cried and prayed for help every night. I used to wish that I could get some terminal illness and die. I felt like I was the only person on the planet with my problems. I am now in my 30s and this problem continues to ruin my social and professional life.

To this day I don't know what I smell like (although I once walked in on a group of girls at college who appeared to be talking about me and I overheard them mentioning the smell of burning rubber). No one is upfront with me, but I don't want to know anyway. Its almost like if people don't say anything about it, it isn't really there and I choose to believe that it isn't there even though I KNOW that it is! Crazy, I know, but then I'm sure you all know what it is like to feel crazy. I try to operate on 'damage limitation' mode, but I do feel that being smelly has made me live a complete lie. I have to lie about why I have given up / changed jobs (I'm currently unemployed because of this) and my life is absolutely governed by my problem. I haven't had a proper relationship for years and I know that as the years have gone on my problem is getting worse. It has made me very depressed and bitter, but I won't give up. I have tried so many therapies and spent thousands looking for a cure.

I hope it helps to know that you are not alone. Sorry that I have just been ranting on about myself, suppose I had to let off steam! I am thinking of you, and all the other visitors to this site. I want to take you all and cure you. It makes me so angry that we have to suffer like this. It certainly ain't fair!

Just before I go, I have bought Champex and have been using it for 3 days. Feeling quite optimistic, but it is early days. I will keep you posted. I found out about it on the TMAU forum.

Love to you all, keep strong

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