Be strong!!!

Ive been in your situation over a thousand times,almost half of my life ive been into humilation and depression,I tried to live a normal life as possible by ignoring the comments of others,but deep inside I feel a lot of pain and now ive come to a point where i became hopeless I quit my job for about a year now because i cant bear another day of insults and embarassment in my work anymore,I never go out unless its not important.My relationship ended up w/ my bf and to my friends even my family doesnt care at all, im alone in battling this cursed desease, having chronic BB FBO affects all aspect in my life,Ive even tried commiting suicide but i failed.Untill ive realized I dont wanna die with another humilation,I know my family will get more affected if i kill my self so ive decided to focus on how can i help my self and find cure.Doctors cant help me too so i buy every possible cure that ive had read in this forums and its so frustrating everytime i failed,I had no savings now and i need to work,got a lot of oppurtunities for work but im hesitant to apply because i know i could stink up the whole working area,and I dont want to get a traumatic experience with it again.I hope God could help us find cure and i know we need more effort to help ourself,try a little harder,and see the other side.