Re: Any suggestion/advise

I am confused about the police remark, did you ask them if you could have the exchange take place there at the station?  Have you called to ask if they can simply have an officer there where you make your exchange and that your husband has a history of violence with you, a police record for it and you would like to have an officer with you for the exchange for your own safety?  Do you have a restraining order in place for him (get one) and see about getting a court appointed person to take over the role of delivering and retrieving your son.  If you have a restraining order then there would be a legal issue involved and you might be able to get some police cooperation.  I am finding it hard to believe they would outright refuse to help you in any way, unless you are in a part of the country I sure as heck would never want to be in.  "Serve and protect", remember?  Sheesh.

I would not want my son being with someone like him either, can you petition the court and get a new hearing regarding custody?  That his son has also been physically abusive to you (the older one) and is living with him might bring new light onto the matter.  He probably should not have any custody rights that are unsupervised.

Definitely have someone with you for the exchanges, get the heck over "I am a private person" and get the kind of protection you need.  If the most you can have is another person there serving witness it will greatly reduce his bad behavior.

I think a lot of women in abusive situations feel shamed as if they did something to deserve such treatment.  YOU HAVE NOT.  This is not a reflection on YOU, it is a reflection on HIM.  Get someone strong to stand beside you, someone who is not afraid to report his sorry ass if he steps out of line and serve as witness to a hearing if need be.

I know it is very hard to shake off the victim mentality when you have been abused, but if the POLICE DEPARTMENT does not provide you with an officer to stand by you for this then I seriously would consider making a large stink about it to a higher up.  Absolutely ridiculous.

Stop worrying about inconveniencing a friend or family member to protect yourself.  THAT IS WHAT WE DO FOR THOSE WE LOVE.  Let them be that person for you, now, while you need it.

Good luck to you, will be praying for your strength and well-being.