That thread was the best I've read in awhile. You are right, you simply cannot let down your guard. How hard for a person that has been like a kicked dog for years!! It is the ultimate, pull yourself up by the bootstraps mentality.
I love that website that Darius provided too. Reading the traits was like reading about my mother in law, each and every paragraph was her! My poor husband. And he didn't pick up ONE of those traits, not a one.