Re: Growing up with a narcissistic mother

want2beclean,

The WORDS used to express any idea/concept [that we shold FEEL] are important because VERY often they are undefined, innaccurate, invalid, out of context, subjective bias, not specific, etc.

NOBODY on earth has ever or can BE "guilty". A person can ONLY be guilty OF SOMETHING.

So, the first thing to do is DEFINE what you are guilty OF (I have no doubt that you will find something by using your self-persecuting imagination). Given time, you will learn mercy for yourself (I second that motion). Get off your case, you are here at Curezone because your wish is that everything in general could be BETTER (you are progressive...UNCOMMON).

Coming from a dysfunctional family myself, I understand the effects of a bad family life and the long-lasting GUILT we steal (and parents inflict on their own blood, also society's habit against the children of the world) from our guilty parents and place on the innocent (US, we were only "the child"). We are CONVICTING THE INNOCENT (we should be mad at ourselves for doing that...did you say you are depressed?, now you know why) and we are EXCUSING THE GUILTY (your conscience can find you guilty of that too).

You could honor your father by letting him deal with his own guilt instead of stealing it from him, GUILT THIEF!.

Do you have reason to be angry? I believe you do (whether you or your critics agree). Some people aren't flattered by your anger (relatives, close friends of your dad, etc.), some people are indifferent and simply don't care (strangers, people who CALL themselves friends, etc.), but I don't just BELIEVE, I KNOW you have reason to be angry. Whether anyone wants to extend you the RIGHT to be angry, no one should DENY you the right to be angry (it hurts to be denied that right) even when they simply don't have the ABILITY to RELATE to your experiences of life (it is a human right and they deny/disregard your humanity, but will give $1 a month to charity in order to be "politically correct").

Your reason for being angry/upset is completely legitimate and you should be the first to validate your anger (real friends will also validate your anger IF they have the ability to relate, and will try when they don't).

(what LURKS is your "conscience" because you are convicting an innocent person).

It is not very nice to tell a person "Oh, just LIVE WITH IT" or "Ah, SNAP OUT OF IT", it's like giving them the finger, so don't do it to yourself either. Get in the habit of doing nice things for yourself, like buying flowers for yourself, or buying little knick-knacks for yourself (no matter how silly they are, it's done just to please the person you look up to...yourself).

God bless you, want2beclean.


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