Oh honey ....

My dear child, we would love to help you out!  That's the very reason many of us come to this forum, precisely because we know girls like you will come in seeking help amidst a sea of confusion and pain.  We so much want to be here for you because we know just how it feels to be in your shoes.  You see, we really have been there, we have felt the fear, the loneliness, the self deprecation, guilt, shame, depression....all of that stuff.  Many of us survived because deep down we had strong personalities and insight, but it still took us a long time to put everything together and figure things out.

It's a painful and lengthy process, and many of us didn't have anyone to tell us right from left.  That's the reason why we spend hours on here, not because we have nothing else to do, but just in case we can be of help,  in case our experience can help a little sister see her way out of a relationship mess.

I would never be the one to tell you that a woman needs man like a fish needs a bicycle, but a woman will rarely choose the right  man until she is self sufficient and feels strong enough and be well whether she is alone or with company.

You are describing a sad situation in which you feel like you are nothing and have no life of your own unless it is next to this individual who doesn't seem to have a clue either.  You both need to allow time to pass so that you can go on to healthy, well defined relationships. 

There are scores upon scores of posts here of people who have gone through  similiar situations such as you.  Take some of that time when you are afraid to be alone and read through all the pages.  Take all the good advice that has been put into this forum and apply all that you think suits you and your situation.   In fact, make it a project, write down all the good advice into a list that you can read to yourself over and over.  Build yourself up with positive affirmations.

Reach out to your family, if you are in good terms with them and do whatever you can to stay emotionally connected to them.  Try to join a group of spiritually minded people and set your sights higher.

I wish there was more that I could do for you right now, but reminding you that there is a lot of good info right on this forum is probably the best I can do.  Ultimately honey, only you can make you a whole person, and when you do become whole, there will be others that you will attract to your life.  It will get better, really it will.  Don't give up on yourself!!!!