To ozgur

Hi,
What do you mean you sense a lot of the same things about my safety? Please clarify.
Another words do you feel this is something the Lord is telling you?

you stated not to stay for the money and you are right. The only problem with this is that I am sooooooo weak and sick I can not even cook for myself. I am so extremely exhausted and weak and being outside where I am exposed to fumes and or perfumes or anything sends me into a deep tail spin. I am really really ill and can not imagine wanting anyone ever wanting to go through this. I am thinking my adrenal glands are failing and I think I am starting to have problems with my thyroid. I have been trying to get into the doctor and I was told to wait several weeks to call for an appointment. Well I called today and they told me it would be another 3-6 weeks. I am so week and exhausted and scared I don't know what to do. I can't care for my own children properly and I have a mother that really doesn't care too much about this so I have no help. My father is dead and most of my family thinks this is something I can overcome if I just try harder. So no one really understands the extent of my health issues.

If I leave and go to a shelter I am probably going to die. I have to be so careful now to avoid even the smallest chemicals. I know that If I stay I could die as well. I just am not 100 percent sure I am right about my husband. For example: I had several health supplements that would help with my various issues and they just recently disappeared. I think my husband threw them away so I won't get better but I have no proof. I had them in my car and the 3 days he took the car to work they ended up disappearing. Another example: I woke up one night very ill and asking for help and saying i was really weak. He thought I was more sleepy then awake and didn't think I would notice him ignoring me. I brought it to his attention and he said he never heard me except he was standing right next to me. Maybe he was watching tv and just really spaced out and was telling the truth. Another time he put something in my purse that I just told him I was allergic to. He said he thought it would be ok to put it in my purse because it was still in a package and I would not be exposed to the product inside. I thought that was suspect but maybe he was telling the truth. Another time I told him I have become so chemically sick that I can not even touch the remote control without getting really sick and for the first time ever he offered to let me control the remote control that night. I thought that was odd after telling him I can not touch the remote without becoming really ill. He said he just forgot and I don't know whether to believe him or not.

There were more things then the above but they involve intimate details and I don't want to gross anyone out. So I won't go into them but it seems like he is taking things I am chemically sensitive to and trying to put them in my path on purpose. However it has happened so many times that it doesn't look like coincidence any longer. Yet what if I am wrong and they are all coincidences and I break up a marriage over nothing. Some things have happened that I thought I remembered that were really bad. Like one day I remember telling him I need milk over and over again cause my blood Sugar was dangerously low. I went into a seizure. And he just kept shushing me and trying to lull me into a sleep whenever I asked for help. I could have swore it happened but he swears to God on his very soul that he could never do that and I am wrong and started crying. Now I am not sure If I am remembering correctly and am starting to question my own sanity.

To some people I may look stupid but it's really hard when you can't even be around other people without getting deathly ill from the various chemicals we use in our society. I would have no problem leaving til I knew what to do if I was healthy but I am a lot sicker then I can even explain and going outside of my home to stay at a shelter would mean I am exposed to possible mold (deathly allergic to mold), bleach (extremely allergic and get very ill when around this), any cleaning products that are not all natural and free and clear (like the ones I use from seventh generation make me deathly ill. Even a childs bouncing ball makes me extremely ill. I can't be around my children's toys most of the time or electronic games. I have to leave the room when an air purifier is being used. I was extremely ill when going near my computer and for some strange reason I have been able to use it where I have not been able to even be in the same room as before. But I have been around other people's computers and still get very ill. I do not understand this. All I know is that anything plugged in just about makes me so ill I can't walk, talk or even hardly think.

So leaving is not so much of an option for me right now.

Thank you so much for praying for me and taking the time to right me. It really means a lot. Most of my family won't listen. I have been telling my mother and sister for a while that I feel unsafe and they know of my health condition and neither one has really offered to help. So it means a lot when complete strangers take the time to talk to you and pray.
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