please allow me to vent

I feel stupid doing this, but I'm going to vent here. I've associated my insanity lately with iodine. It's all for good, of course. I just wish it would hurry up.

I've felt absolutely nutty lately. I have certain things I want to get done, but limited capacity to do them compared to other people. My energy goes haywire. I go crazy getting a lot of stuff done, and then I realize how much there is left to do. I feel hopeless at times, like what is the point of doing anything? With wheat out of my diet, I felt more calm & able to handle things...I don't get the super-high heart rate...but the halogen/metals/whatever stuff starts emotional things up again in a slightly different way. Sometimes I'm superwoman. Other times, I want to fall asleep right after work. I would take a day off, except I'm going out of town all next week for "vacation." I would cancel that, except it would disappoint my family.

Thank goodness my husband is very sweet & understanding. His bowels are working awesomely. Mine keep working, then constipating, then working...argh.

I don't even feel like I can be completely honest with my NMD. "Hey, I suspect I have bromide & fluoride toxicity, so to address this, I'm taking Lugol's iodine, which releases all that crap into me & makes me worse?" Oh, and every time I do this, I get constipated again? Sounds crazy to me. Yes, I keep supplementing...lately I'm focusing on magnesium, zinc, selenium, vitamin C, my "power drink," the iron supplement...

Those of you who battle the constipation - what are you doing about it? I don't know if I should do too many salt water flushes. They can be pretty harsh. I could use Epsom Salts instead of Sea Salt s, but the thought of drinking that right now makes me want to barf. I have other stuff to use, and I keep rotating...LBB, psyllium & senna, seed tisanes (fennel, cumin, coriander, ginger)...more magnesium...I don't know, I'm just so confused. Having my period right now doesn't make things easier. However, I don't have that breast soreness during the month, not for the last 2 months. I don't really have much in the way of menstrual cramps. I think I'm finally absorbing the nutrients I need.

I guess I need more patience with my body. I just want to achieve this level of functionality I feel I should have. Work hard all day, then sleep well at night. No more waking up at 2:30 am feeling crazy & having conversations with people in my head.

But my brain goes all crazy. It tells me I'm not doing enough. It tells me I need to defend to people why I'm eating what I'm eating, or avoiding eating certain things. It tells me I should have finished X by now, so why don't I just work harder in spite of my fatigue.