Iodine & emotional health, part 2

I've been supplementing Iodine for almost 8 mos. now for fibrocystic breast disease. During this time I've been through assorted "detoxes" of various intensities, from looseness of the bowels to zits to emotional purgings. Newport noted long ago that "detox" comes in waves. Yes it does.

One thing I've noticed with many supplementing Iodine is that adverse effects can be elevated for a time and then abate. From cystic pain to heart palpitations to sore throat to huge honking zits...and, in my case, severe mood swings. I think we've seen quite a bit of emotion on this board and surrounding this board from day 1..., so I suspect I'm not the only one...

For those that don't know my history, physically, cystic area #1 cleared up months ago...and my breasts completely changed in texture, therefore enabling me to find area #2, a mass on my chest wall. This mass has been much slower in breaking down, I finally had a breakthrough last week. I had the same intense pain followed by an experience of electricity, energy, internal itching...I was also sick last week. Had this been earlier in supplementation, I would have correlated it to the breaking down of cystic tissue. But since supplementation has become so matter-of-course I assumed that I caught a "bug" that has been going around. But I had the same sick feeling in the bowels and the same gastrointestinal distress that I've experienced before when at the high point of a detox wave.

Only now am I seeing that the emotional troubles come in waves, too. I wish, during these times, that all of my access to others was forbidden because I have lashed out and hurt others.

How in the world do I explain to people that that's not really me, that that's the sickness leaving? And that that sickness is so deeply entrenched, of such a long-standing duration, that the elevation of the emotion, the misplaced hostility, the intensity is magnified? How can I expect anyone to understand that?

Healthy mind in a healthy body...sick mind in a sick body.

And FBD IS a dis-ease. Nevermind that it is called "benign" and "common". I LOOK healthy, I am physically fit, I look young for my age. But I've had this stuff growing in me for a long time. I've felt, for years, as though I've been carrying my death around in my breast. and that death is putting up a hell of a fight. The grim reaper does not like to be thwarted...he'll get me someday, just not so soon....

And now I'm really gonna spill my guts. Sickness in the breasts, what does that represent? Is there anything more feminine than the breasts? I'm not suggesting that the following is true of everyone, but it is true, of me.

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http://medherb.com/Therapeutics/Female_-_Botanical_Therapies_for_Fibrocystic_...


"In respect to bioenergetics, the theory that disease is a result of energy blockage in a particular tissue, organ, or organ system, the breasts would represent mothering, nourishing, or nurturing activities. When a woman is blocked or has issues around her mothering or nurturing role, including an excess of, or a lack thereof, breast pathology may result. When hormonal aberrations do no seem the likely cause of the complaint, or when the condition is unresponsive to the normally effective therapies, investigate the possibility of issues around mothering, fertility, parenting, mother-daughter difficulties, mother-child difficulties, lack of self-nurturing, and other similar psychological patterns."

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~I think that we can safely say that it is not merely an imbalance of hormones or a lack of iodine. I think that it is also confusion as to what it means to be a woman these days. I think that that may also play a role in the elevation of FBD, breast cancer, PCOS, etc, etc, etc.

In my case, several factors in childhood left me with such an abject fear of being hurt that I was terrified of true intimacy with a man for a long time. The years that should have been spent finding a good mate and hopefully having children were spent keeping myself safe. Safe, because I didn't need anyone anyway, I could take care of myself.. Because, the way that I was raised, family meant incredible, spirit-breaking pain.

So, I, as a woman, meant to nurture. Terrified to expose myself. Breast frustration, stagnation, of the highest order.

I DO nurture, though. Ask my husband, my relatives, my friends. I love, and am loved. But I have always been too terrified to take on the responsibility of a child. I didn't want to treat a child as I was treated. So yes, sick, sad, breasts. They're finally getting happy, but it's too late. and that is breaking my heart, and I mourn for what I have lost.
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More on the psychological aspect of breast disease:


http://www.fibrocystic.com/fail.htm


"I have found that many of my patients with fibrocystic breast disease, but not all, have difficulty in getting rid of chemicals out of their body. So there are two factors:

1). Increased garbage coming into the body in the form of xenoestrogens.

2). Decreased garbage going out of the body in the form of all chemicals, drugs, AND xenoestrogens.

Many of the patients will be "sensitive" to drugs such as caffeine, valium or ibuprofen. A small dose of these drugs will affect them greatly as compared to their "normal" friends. This means that their body cannot get rid of these drugs. This means that they cannot get rid of chemicals AND xenoestrogens. Typically, these patients if given a blood test, the blood test will confirm impaired excretion of drugs. I call this a "clogged toilet" syndrome.

A simple physical test, a Rhomburg test, confirms the "clogged toilet" syndrome. Put your feet together, stand on tip toes, and close your eyes. If you have difficulty keeping your balance compared to a healthy young teen, then this confirms Chemical Injury. Chemical Injury was first fully described by Theron Randolf, MD who chaired University of Chicago Medical School, Allergy Department and can be read in An Alternative Approach to Allergies found in books.

More severely Chemically Injured patients with a more severe "clogged toilet" syndrome also have a hypersensitivity to smell. In other words, these patients have a "sharp" sense of smell and cannot stand perfume or newsprint or cigarette smoke or chemical smells in general. Extremely severe Chemically Injured patients are known as Multiple Chemically Sensitive or Environmentally Ill.

The cause of the "clogged toilet" syndrome is low level constant fear, stress, or anxiety. For instance, if you are 1 foot away from a rattle snake, your anxiety level would be a level 10. However, the next day when you are away from the rattle snake the anxiety level should drop to a level 0. This is the normal response. However, these chemically injured/chemically sensitive/"clogged toilet" syndrome patients always have an anxiety level of 4 or 5 all the time. Low level anxiety causes increased cell membrane rigidity. The increased cell membrane rigidity causes decreased garbage output or a "clogged toilet" syndrome. Also available histamine levels are increased. The increased histamine levels make it easier for allergies to trigger. So, "clogged toilet" syndrome patients have more allergies as well.

Typically, there is a reason for their low level anxiety/fear/stress. Past physical abuse, past sexual abuse, jumping through hoops to perform to be loved and accepted, perfectionism, a long term fight with your parents or siblings, or broken heart issues seem to be common with patients that have a "clogged toilet" syndrome. A professor in Taiwan noted that in the case, of one sided fibrocystic breast disease, the right breast cyst is related to a fight with a female coworker or female in-law, and the left breast cyst is related to a fight with the mother or female blood relative. Pastor Henry Wright of Pleasant Valley Church in Atlanta, Georgia made the same observation that breast cysts seem to be correlated with female fights and disrupted female relationships.

Initially, I was extremely skeptical, but after talking with many fibrocystic breast disease patients, I found that getting into a fight with other females and not be able to forgive and still being angry/upset about the person is found in many but not all patients. This is why some women can get away with xenoestrogen intake and some women cannot. Some women have healthy garbage excretion and some women have a "clogged toilet" syndrome.

Fibrocystic Breast Disease is a real physiologic disease, NOT psychological. However, the way your brain thinks affects your brain chemistry. The brain chemistry affects your body chemistry. In other words, if your ‘stomach is flip flopping all the time", it is not good for your body."

~All of the reasons for low level anxiety/fear/stress, are true of me.

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~and, since FBD very often is a precursor to breast cancer, I looked into the Carcinogenic personality type as well. Traits are:


http://www.drmostovoy.com/carcinogenic_personality_profile.htm


· Loss / Grief (relationship, status, etc.)
· Unfulfilled passion
· Unworthiness
· Avoidance of conflict
· Tension in parental relationship

~ all true of me as well...but what I've noticed at that some of these traits(those described in the FBD link and the above link) are being reversed in a way, and magnified on their way out. For instance, instead of "jumping through hoops to be loved and accepted", I have been provoking arguments and making a point out of NOT doing things to please others. I've been pleasing mySELF. I've let random hostility fly, I've been verbally abusive. I've LOOKED for fights, CREATED them. I've been a full-on bitch, no doubt:) *tee hee* It is NOT rational behavior. and, I don't like it. but part of me does, part of me relishes it. BWA -Ha-ha-ha-ha.....!!!!!!!!

I guess I'm detoxing years of "jumping through hoops to be loved and accepted"?
by performing "random acts of insufferable bitchiness because I can"?

~one thing that drives me nuts is that I have been described here, on CZ, SO many times, as being this giving, loving, humorous person. Well, I AM. I'm also INCREDIBLY moody and yes, an absolute raving BITCH at times.

I want OFF that friggin pedestal, NOW. I'm jumping, it's too far to fall.
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