Isn't that interesting?! We just don't know what is buried in there.

When I was going through bio-resonance, the practitioner mentioned that he noticed some alarm I felt before I was two years old. (He is also an intuitive.) He suggested it was about my new-born brother...and he explained that a baby cries the moment it is hungry. Not knowing that mother is on her way, the infant cries in terror of not eating. A toddler understands the baby's meaning.

He suggested my long-buried memory was of perceived momentary 'neglect' of an infant, and he was partially right. It was the practitioner's rationalization that was limited.

My new brother had come home from the hospital with a grave life-changing injury. That was what I noticed, when I was 19 months old. It would be six and a half decades before I put all the puzzle pieces together and finally understood my buried feeling.

(I am famous for that...figuring things out, long after the event. THEN I can think of some smart remark to toss.)

Are you one of those folks who needed to learn English in your youth, Hanna?

I ask because there have been good friends, and folks in my family who have been through that experience.

It's not that learning, even English, is so difficult...it's the social trauma that may be involved.

One lady came from a laughing, very strong and happy Dutch family. If anyone could weather the storm of change well, she should have been able to.

But, at age twelve, she somehow got the impression that she was dumb/stupid for not understanding the English spoken at her new school.

She grew up a laughing/happy person, in the style of her dad and mom, but inside, she couldn't bring herself into any 'academic' situation. She was afraid that she didn't 'measure up'.

Another lady I have observed chose to become very single-minded, I think to show that she didn't care that she might be rejected for her 'differentness'.

No doubt they both 'grew out of it' to some degree, as they became older...but the social side of moving to a different country was beneath the surface of their personalities for a long, long time, I believe.

How I wish I could tell these folks that they are loved and appreciated AS THEY ARE, 'differences' or no differences...that OUR understanding of THEM grows over time...just as they become comfortable with us.

I once told the laughing lady that I would love her forever, no matter what. I made the mistake of saying that I would love her even if she robbed a bank.

BIG mistake!

She was so basically honest (and, wanted the world to know she was honest) that she couldn't accept that. She felt people must 'deserve' friendship.

Come to think of it, both of these ladies were raised Catholic. The laughing family had broken away from the church soon after coming to Canada, because one priest had asked the father for money when the poor man was unable to buy shoes for his children.

(And, he had to begin his family while suffering the after-effects of war and 'occupation'.)

Soon after the break, the father took a job as a street-sweeper, and stayed at it for the rest of his life. Such was his integrity.

I really do go 'off-topic' when talking with you, don't I, Hanna?

These are the memories and generational/family memories buried within us, I think. Where they are painful, they may surface at any time.

I know that the feelings attached to some of my memories have arisen in 'cleansings' of one kind or another. It seems they only need to be acknowledged for what they are, and they vanish...we become free to be more of what we prefer.

Forgive my ramble, won't you?

My best,

Fledgling