30 year old men have no sex drive? 
andib
19 y
61,109
I'm a 30 year old woman and my boyfriend and I have a great relationship. We've been dating for about a year and just recently we moved in together. Our sex life has just taken a nose dive. When we lived apart we had sex once or twice just about every weekend, I would've liked to do it more often but often my daughter was with me and the only time I could sleep over was on the weekends. I told him that too, that I would like to do it more often but I understood our "lives" (kids, work, etc) made it difficult. I guess I thought when we moved in together it would get better because my daughter has her own room and we sleep together every night. Not the case though, he falls asleep on the couch - we've had sex twice in the last two months! I've tried to talk to him about it but I don't know what to say because I'm worried that it's me. I quit smoking and gained a little weight - I only weighed about 105 to begin with so a little weight isn't so bad but when it's coupled with a recent adult Acne problem and your boyfriend quits sleeping with you, it's pretty upsetting.
He says he still finds me attractive but still doesn't seem interested in sex. What can I do?
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- Re: 30 year old men have no sex driv... #33045
19 y
57,290
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This is a reply to # 534,715Advertisement
Hulda Clark Cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
One male opinion......
It's up to you to make the sex,you do have, explosive. Try lots of foreplay. Attention to foreplay makes the difference between okay sex and TO DIE FOR sex. You want him to remember the things you do and think that NO ONE could ever do it better.. sex should last a while...not be over in just 5 minutes. It doesn't have to be oral to be really great if that is offensive to you..
For you to do..and always remember...(MUST BE LUBED). KY lube works.
Have towels handy cause you both will get wet. Form your thumb and forefinger into an "o" shape and lube it up . Grabbing his penis at the base with the unlubed hand, pull back his foreskin (if equipped), if not, just hold it. Now, take the other hand and wrap the "O" just under the head. Now, move this up and down slowly about an inch. He should really like this. Now, start rotating your fingers back and forth (as if you were opening and closing a bottle). You can criss-cross too up over the rim of the head, but go back to that spot and keep twisting..doesn't have to be fast... in fact slow will make that incredible feeling last longer.. (This is pretty close to a male "G" spot as it could buckle his knees if standing or make him shake all over with pleasure) A man will find unbelievable pleasure doing this. He will never forget it. He will be gasping and gyrating. You will feel the penis growing bigger. When he swells up big, and he will, finish it or initiate intercourse. For a man, this almost feels better than an orgasm because it lasts, is explosive and can leave him quivering.
(Many men have NEVER had this done by hand because it can't be done dry...it's just too sensitive and needs lots of lube) Pre-cum is not good enough and evaporates quickly. Most guys don't think of lube being necessary even in masturbation...so he will think youre incredible..
For you, you got to tell him what you like and how you like it. It's probably better that he excites you first or gets a head start because he will be out of control with what you do.
additionally......
For a man, there are several different types of sex enhancer products that might get him going. Cobra (rated high), Stamina RX (new formula), too new to be rated and of course the big three drugs, Viagra, Levitra and Cialis.
Most take 45 min to an hour to be at full steam.
For a woman, talk to your health store clerk. They get positive feedback on things that work.
If he likes this, you can initiate sex next time by giving him the "okay sign"! Believe me, he will know exactly what you are talking about.
Please come back and tell me if I helped you...it's important that I get feedback as this is just my opinion.. others have tried this and love it.
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- Re: 30 year old men have no sex driv... kelltl
19 y
56,778
This is a reply to # 534,716I would suggest talking to him, but don't be suprised if it doesn't help. If you believe it is your changes then decide if there is anything that you can or would like to do about those issues and act accordingly irrelevant of him or his sexual desire. Maybe that would make you feel better about yourself either way as it seemed by your post that you are a little concerned about the chanes. Just a suggestion. 30 year old men are interested in sex....trust me! Maybe it is the role changes as well since you moved in together, it is easy to fall into a rut.
- Re: 30 year old men have no sex driv... #42412
19 y
57,010
This is a reply to # 534,718i agree, it feels as if we're falling into a rut already and I don't know how to stop it from happening. He's pretty sensitive about "talks", he feels like he does everything wrong when I start bringing up things he's not doing. Anyway, so I've been hinting around about it here and there. I tried giving him a back massage the other night and told him I wanted some time alone with him (mentioned a few things I might do when we had some time alone), told him the other day that I went "bikini bare". I've definitely been trying to get him thinking about it but he just doesn't seem to have much interest. I've gotten to the point where I think I'm just going to get a little more forceful :) and if that doesn't work... well, I'm in trouble.
Sometimes I feel like we're just roomates!Advertisement
Hulda Clark Cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
- not just 30-year-olds having trouble... #43371
19 y
56,608
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This is a reply to # 534,722If you are having troubles with your guy in his 30's, be prepared for worse in his 40's...I am a woman in my early 40's and I have noticed over the last few years that more and more of my girlfriends are complaining about their husbands of 15+ years are just not that interested in sex anymore. I have to say that I have noticed this too. It seems like everything from sporting events (final four!!)to work pressures to the 'history channel' seems to occupy more realestate in husbands' minds than it used to. I mean, don't even think he is going to feel sexual when a basketball game is going on! And, ironically enough, our kids are getting older, more responsible and thus as a mom I feel that I am getting to the point where I can let down my gaurd and be sexual again (after years of childrearing) but now HE is not interested! Yikes!!Is this an empidemic? Did our guys get tired of begging for it when they were younger and now they just don't have the physical or mental energy to pursue it anymore?? This is so sad to me. We should be enjoying more sex not less during this period of our lives. :( I know this doesn't speak for all the sexually hungry, active 40 year olds, but it sure applies to many....- Better sex #33045
19 y
56,788
This is a reply to # 534,730In a relationship, sex , at first is great. Then, as life becomes more complicated, it becomes commonplace with much interference with obligations; work, night school, bills, kids etc, so couples tend to try to squeeze it in when they can, and usually in as little time as possible. Sex, then becomes mechanical and boring. Because men and women have such different timing mechanisms, it's a wonder, at this point, if it works at all! Also, men are also visually stimulated so the cute, shapely girl they fell in love with, slowly changes as time goes on, and simply isn't quite so attractive. They forget that they are growing older too.
The only saving grace is the friendship between you two built up, gets you by these trying times. If you ask a man who his best friend is, and it isn't you, something is not right. Quiet talking is so important.
One of the biggest things you can do sex wise is to try different ways of having sex....have variety. For sex to be good, couples need to spend time with foreplay...it is the major difference between ho-hum sex and an explosive experience.
Each experience should be better than the last. Find out what he likes. Be sure to use lots of lube...it makes a world of difference.( see my other posts about this)
Stimulate his senses..fullfill his fantasy. Smells can be alluring, too. Go shopping with him, and let him smell and pick out a perfume that turns him on. How important is this? I went with a girl many years ago who chewed spearmint gum. Every time I smell spearmint today, I think of her.(40 years later!)You could try a spearmint smell. Pick out a pleasant after shave for him. Sex in the dark isn't a totally good idea: you can use a very dim, pleasant light during sex so he can be visually stimulated too. Set aside this time and make this time very special...you want him to think no one could ever do it better. You want to appeal to as many of the senses as you can. Try and come back here..I want to know if I helped.Advertisement
Hulda Clark Cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
- Re: Better sex #43371
19 y
56,757
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This is a reply to # 534,740I am not complaining about "quality" just "quantity". I was making note that it seems to be wide-spread that men by this age are pooping out while women are feeling sexual again. Yes, I agree to all of the things that keep a relationship in tune and in fact we do all of that and more :)it is just that he doesn't initiate sex like he used to, doesn't 'bug' me for sex like he used to, doesn't make every comment into a sexual inuendo like he used to. Those are the things I miss. Sex is still great, just initiated and 'planned' more by me. This is what I hear from my friends as well. When speaking to my husband about this he insists he is as horny as ever, just that life gets in the way. Kind of like it did when I was raising our kids that are nearly all grown now. Anyway, we must work to keep it up...er...uhm...keep it good! :) :)PS-you are a lovely poster and I always enjoy your remarks.- Re: Better sex #33045
19 y
56,548
This is a reply to # 534,741Thanks for the compliments.
To all women desiring better sex.
Has he tried sex enhancer products? If not, read this.
The most popular is Viagra. It could bring him back to the days when he was nineteen. It will give him even more DESIRE. This is an experience YOU gotta try. He will last longer and be bigger and harder when he ejaculates, and be back for more very soon. It makes the penis extremely sensitive, but for some reason gives him better control so intercourse that took 2 minutes before can be stretched out to much more.. It makes the valves, that keep an erection, work better so he stays harder longer. He is also able to take LONGER strokes without falling out..... which all equals more incredible pleasure for both of you. You might need lube, when you never needed it before, cause it gets very tight and sometimes difficult or painful to penetrate because of the increased size. Lube makes it much easier.
For older guys, there is testosterone pills to replace what their body doesn't make any more.Advertisement
Hulda Clark Cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
- Re: Better sex #1211
19 y
56,874
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine
Free S&H.Restore lost reserves.J.CROW’S®Lugol’s Iodine Solut...
Clarkia Extra Strong
Clarkia Tincture 2 oz, 4 oz, 8 oz, and 16 oz
This is a reply to # 534,743Instead of "viagra" or any other prescription drug. Get your men to try some natural testosterone therapy. You'll see quicker and better results. As men age their testosterone levels get lower.
Beware when using any prescription drug, it opens the door way to wide variety of potentially life threatening side effects.
- Re: Better sex #1211
19 y
56,874
- Re: Better sex #42412
19 y
56,659
This is a reply to # 534,741I think it's something to do with a woman hitting her sexual peak in 30's & 40's and men hitting theirs from 15 - 25, or something like that. I know that now, I simply desire it more than I did at 19. I am also more self confident and in tune with my body and what I like, I'm not uncomfortable or self conscious in sexy lingerie and all that stuff like i was when I was young. I think the feeling of freedom of comfortable sexual expression is a turn on for me and having a man sleeping right next to me every night just makes it that much more accessible in my book, not more boring!
I agree with the gentlemen's posts about foreplay and better sex, but I think my problem is having sex at all! If I want it I have to initiate it and practically beg for it because he's too tired or has a headache or something's on TV, I mean - really! After all those years of being chased for it, now I have to do the chasing? bummer!
Our problem isn't lack of sexual creativity - we have lotions and oils and toys and I have sexy lingerie... the problem is that he just plain isn't all that interested in it. Plus, I don't think I should have to do a horse and pony show every time I want to get laid! I mean, I understand doing that sometimes for fun but I don't want to feel like I have to advertise and solicit sex from him.
I'm just so frustrated, I miss the passion and thrill of being "in love" and just can't get enough of each other. I still feel that way about him.- Re: Better sex #33045
19 y
56,708
This is a reply to # 534,745Advertisement
Hulda Clark Cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
Thanks for the compliments...... I can see why it is so tempting for a woman to cheat....so maybe the only other way, other than a councelor to keep you guys together, is to masturbate and fantasize during those days when he doesn't want it. I know it doesn't completely fill the void, but it helps
make your private time enjoyable. Fill up the bathtub and enjoy. Why not? Unless, of course you have some hang ups about it. - Wake me when it's over. #33045
19 y
56,709
This is a reply to # 534,745So, he is less aggressive as time goes on; it's time to take action...time to forget who is the aggressor. Forget about why. Swallow your pride... you initiate it! If that's the way to get it done, do it! Don't lay there frustrated and thinking that he might make a move sometime or thinking about how he used to be and what possible thing might be wrong about you.
Why torture yourself?
Many guys like it when their mate gets aggressive....it reminds them that they haven't lost their appeal. Attack him just after he's dozed off, or in the living room chair, or on the couch or in the middle of the night if you have to or an hour before he has to get up. Do whatever it takes to get him going. Read my other posts for ideas on foreplay. Use jumper cables if you have to! You can handle it! Rock his socks! It should be the best sex ever for both of you. If you got to do all the work, so what! Try it often. It's your right as a human being to have great sex! You can admit it....you know I'm right. Chew a little spearmint, put on some sexy perfume and a sexy revealing nighty and go for it.- Re: Wake me when it's over. #42412
19 y
56,505
This is a reply to # 534,752Yep! good advice. I just did that last night and it worked. I think he was a little surprised and shocked actually and it didn't last too long but he enjoyed it.
Now hopefully he'll be thinking about it all day and this weekend will be even more fun. Do guys do that? think about last night all day long or is it just us?- Re: Wake me when it's over. #33045
19 y
56,829
This is a reply to # 534,753Advertisement
Hulda Clark Cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
If sex is explosive between you two, it stimulates and "etches" a little area of his brain. You know the sensitive areas that can do this. If it's ho-hum sex, it's probably forgotten in 10 minutes.
If you have a little sign, wink, twinkle, taste, mannerism, tease or a fragrance associated with it,( the more senses you can stimulate, the better;vision, taste, smell, hearing, touch) that memory comes right back each time with that little stimulus..... a man doesn't only remember that day or night, it can be for a very long time! During the time afterward, as the sex organs replenish themselves,and there is a tingling or chance of an erection, he is usually reminded of that special moment.
Most importantly, it is the mental connection that should be part of sex, that provides the SECURITY that all us guys need and it becomes the total package....after all, we guys are nothing but older, immature little boys who need the love and comfort of a good woman ( mother image).... Men are visually stimulated by woman, so that security part that BONDS you two together even if he finds that new secretary with the large breasts and shapely legs visually stimulating, he knows that he has security, warmth, and super great sex with you that can't be duplicated anywhere.... so he hopefully thinks of you.
- Re: sex after 40 seangone
19 y
56,615
This is a reply to # 534,754I really cant blame the guys that dont want to have sex with women in their 30's and 40's. Have you taken a look at women as they age? They become stressed out and ugly because of work and family. This is not at all attractive to men. And this is the exact reason why your men dont want to have sex with you is because women that dont take care of themselves are just gross. If he could find an 18 year old he would be having sex with her every day. Life doesnt just get in the way. There are few men in this world that would prefer work, or sports over sex...at any age. The reason men even keep you around when the sex wears off is because you make good company and are his best friend (unless he has a dog). Start taking better care of yourselves physically and emotionally. Or just accept it and just be thankful your getting it at all, because I sure couldnt touch a women that doesnt take care of her self.
- Re: sex after 40 #42412
19 y
56,582
This is a reply to # 534,776Advertisement
Hulda Clark Cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
Wow! that's absolutely the rudest thing I've ever heard anyone say to me and you don't even KNOW me!
I will say one thing, that's the farthest thing from the truth there is, and I don't appreciate your obviously shallow and media-oriented view of women.
Didn't your mother ever tell you if you didn't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all?
- Re: sex after 40 dianna607
19 y
56,625
This is a reply to # 534,776Unbelieveably rude. Are you old enough to be in Curezone?
You are a great disservice to your gender. Thank goodness men like you are not common.
There is so much one could say..........
- Re: sex after 40 #43371
19 y
56,551
This is a reply to # 534,776Obvously you are a young man who has not reached a level of maturity that would have been attractive to me at 18 or now. Granted, both sexes should take care of themselves to look their best at any age, but nature and gravity will take its toll on all-you included. Hope your wife (if you are lucky enough to have one) will be more understanding of your little beer belly, gray nose hairs, thinning hair-or worse male pattern baldness that you won't be able to help,jowly cheeks, doouble chin, softening penis, ect, ect ect...get the picture? Not too appealing is it? Luckily things like love, committment, family, trust, joy, companionship are there to make up for our body's natural aging processes. We end up loving one another inspite of their physical attributes not because of them. It is called growing up and I hope you do some of it. Good luck!
- Re: sex after 40 seangone
19 y
56,661
This is a reply to # 534,793Advertisement
Hulda Clark Cleanses
Wormwood, Clove, Clarkia, Turmeric, Epsom Salt, Uva Ursi, Goldenrod
Of course what I said was rude, there is just no easy way to say it. Thats why your men give you some BS excuse to not have sex with you. And there is a good reason why they dont speak up about it, because when ever they try to say something, we get called childish and rude or worse. You ladies were the ones that were insulted, not I, maybe Im not the one that needs to grow up?
Although poster 43371 was very right in what she said, that there are many more important things than just sex. However I do disagree that aging is a natural process. It is the result of poor diet.
- Re: sex after 40 #43371
19 y
56,505
This is a reply to # 534,794I don't know how diet is going to help the ol'receeding hairline and Mr. Softy-that's just mother nature at work! You will change your tune when you get a bit older. But, yes, women should work hard to keep their shape-for their own health and well being and if it makes hubby randier, so be it. (goes the same for men) And I wasn't one of the women offended...:)
Expand 26 messages, 21 to 46 of 46 seangone
19 y
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- Re: sex after 40 #43371
19 y
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- Re: sex after 40 seangone
19 y
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- Re: sex after 40 #42412
19 y
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- Re: sex after 40 seangone
19 y
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- Re: Wake me when it's over. #33045
19 y
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- Re: Wake me when it's over. #42412
19 y
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- Re: Better sex #33045
19 y
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- Re: Better sex #33045
19 y
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- Re: Better sex #43371
19 y
56,757
- Better sex #33045
19 y
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- not just 30-year-olds having trouble... #43371
19 y
56,608
- Re: 30 year old men have no sex driv... #42412
19 y
57,010
- Re: 30 year old men have no sex driv... kelltl
19 y
56,778
- Re: 30 year old men have no sex driv... #33045
19 y
57,290
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