Hi:
It is hard to answer on the right direction because as you've mentioned certain things do happen. I have several thoughts as to what could be done, but getting them done can be a challenge given the state of the country's terrible medical system and the attitudes. I'll list my thoughts as they come to me.
1. In my opinion, it is a good idea to know what you're fighting. Do as many "tests" as possible (this includes 2-3 opinions before doing anything) in order to have a foundation to work with. Given that lab testing, in general, is terrible this is a huge challenge. For instance, Flowersdogmom had 12 tests done by the same lab to find parasites; in the end, it was worth it but a challenge to find an answer.
Another good reason to do testing is that some parasites based upon their nature will do certain things. Some parasites may have similar traits but they need to be treated differently - the ascaris and strongylis come to mind - there have been deaths involving strongylis.
Testing for other menacing co-factors.... molds and bacteria shouldn't be ruled out.
2. Read, read, read. I can't emphasize this enough! Also, as you read, keep an open mind and don't jump to conclusions.
3. In regard to the scattering problem and how to avoid it. I think the strategy of taking something sweet helps. Also, the strategy of take a little dose for awhile then hit them harder with a larger dose, then back off a little, and hit hard again can help (I think you're doing this). Again, it's important to know what you're dealing with and how that anthelminic affects the parasites; some require a purging an hour or so after taking something and some anthelminics don't require a purgative.
4. Follow your instincts! I wish that I had followed my instincts when I had first got infected with testing; I had mentioned this to my doctor because of the unusual fevers. After studying about parasite symptoms and discovering them, it seemed like it was a no-brainer and the doctor should've caught this. Somewhere on the P Forum I made a list of my symptoms and experience. If parasites are caught early enough they are easier to get rid of -- I'd say after initial infection a few months up to a year would be a critical time to work fast and afterwards it will become increasingly harder.
5. I can certainly appreciate your concerns about your children. I tend to think that because they are younger the problem may not be that bad. Many of us on these forums are in our 30-50's+ and the health issues mounted slowly until a critical point; thus, it allowed the parasites to make a nice home in us for many years and they fight to stay.
6. Dealing with parasites has been a hard journey. The mental aspect has been the hardest. I guess.... the hardest part was NOT knowing anything and discovering strange movements on my own. Using the tapeworms as an example when they die or when they want to evacuate. Had someone prepared me for the possibility, I'm not sure the psychological impact would be that bad because I would be better prepared somewhat. Finding the RIGHT anthelmintic is a problem; in my opinion, using the right one, no one should be experiencing discomfort or pain.
7. Of course, finding the RIGHT person to work with you can make a huge difference in a recovery.
8. Specific killing agents that are custom made is far better than using a broad spectrum formula.
If I can think of more, I'll add to this.