I know that the last thing I need to do is forgive God...
I am angry too but forgive I must...that us what love is,,,
forgiveness. We who fell with the fallen aspect of God,
conspired with God to fall away from love...and in doing so...
created death and dying... I have some things about me that I am
not proud of...and my main lack of forgiveness is with God...
for letting me go...letting me fall...but I fell because the door
to death amd dying was open...but so is the door back home....open...
to every loving act that we will experience...and we is a larger we...
for every soul and spirit that bfell from the side of love...walked
out of the gates of heaven...and fell into a body...
I posted this above but I hope this is for you...
I know I am not there yet in my learning... just like you...
I just have my square NDE peg to try to fit into a round world...
From my NDE, I came to understand that God who is love
is not omniscient...in the dimension of time and death
but has the potential to be omniscient... just as a
light switch can potentially make a room light...God
who is love has the potential to turn on the lights
and dispel death and dying. Love can not see anything
but love....Love can not look on unlove without unlove
vanishing but just because you can turn a light on in
a dark room does not mean the room is light.
Did you know that you are the one who turned off the lights so you could play in the dark?
God who is light can not experience pain... If love
looks on pain...pain vanishes.... but God who is love
has a shadow side... called free-will... where
darkness and pain reside...where death and dying reign...
Pain is why we fell...because where we came from there is no pain...
It is a kind of Lepers colony.. where they can feel no pain...and so some of us...1/3rd of us want to feel pain...so we fell to heal that desire to feel pain...
to cure our Lepers soul by giving it flesh that feels pain...death and dying...time...
That portion of God, that created time, I call the
Librarian. The Librarian or God of the underworld...at
least for earth... is a lesser God who resides just
outside of the atmosphere in my NDE...is the fallen
aspect of God who is love... When God created this
lesser dimension of God...God split into an infinite amount
of fallen souls who fell from the light...
less one piece... and all of the fallen aspects of God
hid behind free-will... in the
shadows where at least in this dimension and in this
world we live in a world where 2/3rds of everything
is light while 1/3rd of everything is dark...
The Librarian records everything we do and records our
intentions...we qho fell...but in the tunnel...
where we have our life
reviews...what is not loving is filtered out...our
soul sheds all of its unlove...and all that enters into
heaven is love...where the light have gone on... and
the Librarian is just doing his job of recording
everything...and maintaining all of the contracts we
who willfully fell into time and death made with each
other... and when the last contract was signed...the
division of oneness began...
This Librarian has a job....and records everything
that each soul and spirit does and their
intentions..... and this being is omniscient...in the
dimension of space and time...He is the rule maker and
he metes out karma... or clauses in our contracts we
made with one another...the
rock...plant...tree...planets...stars...animals...plants...trees...and
each everything has with one another...to consume one
another...but he has to maintain a perfect balance of
66.666...light and 33.333... dark... It is his belief
that this balance is superior to pure love...100%
light... When he(The Librarian) is orchestrating love for us he
may appear to be loving but there is no love in
him...as he is just a conduit through which the light
moves through... a light bulb is not light... but
rather...he is the absence of love... but...where time
ends...he can not enter in....
I know what I am saying goes against what other near
death experiencers have experienced... and very
different from what those of my own religious point of
view believe... but I have to trust that my NDE is
describing the same thing that others see but just
from a different vantage point....
Self forgiveness is the key... I teach the blind in the day...
to see without eyes... they may want to be healed but they have
come to the point where they want to just get on with their lives...
to learn to see without eyes... I think we want not to feel pain...
now that we have pain...but we want to be Lepers again...
we want to be pain free... but here we are feeling pain...
but we must go on with our lives... I know I must forgive myself
first...but one day...when the last person has given up unlove for
love...we will have to forgive God for opening that door... God who is love
opened that door because love was curious...but it is up to us to close it...
I will meet you one day on the other side... Let's tell the God who is love...
that love's lesser self is causing too much pain down here and that
we need this death and dying crap to end... Where two or more are gathered
together in Love's name... Love is there... Waybe that will be enough...Death and dying would be rolled up then... Life will burst out across the earth...
and we will enter in...to a new earth...where there are no more men killing men..women...and children... I have seen this place in a dream...