day 2, 5:45 am

with the SWF I always find that as the days go on, it gets harder to get down. My stomach shrinks and can't fit all that water. That was even true this morning. So, what I did is quickly drink 16oz

Date:   11/14/2006 5:01:47 AM   ( 18 y ) ... viewed 3934 times

Last night before bed I was a little freaked out. I suddenly was scared that I was going to die. I called my sister and talked to her about it. She's done the MC before and is smart and not on the MC currently and I figured she couuld be my voice of reason. She said it's like any addict, that my disease is trying to make me eat. It made so much sense. It's like a drug-addict's voice will tell you, life is better with the drug, you're better with the drug, take it, you can't function or survive with out it. But you can and in fact will be much happier, saner and will function better with out it. Of course that's clear to anyone who isn't in it! But as the sufferer you believe that crazy voice. I guess that's why AA works. Because when ever you doubt that you should be clean you call another AAer or your sponsor and they talk you down.
So, what I was reminded of was the reality of the situation. People fast all the time. That my FAT was beckoning me to the fridge, attempting to destroy my goals. I'm safe and healthy and fasting is healthy. I'll be ok. I'm not convulsing or passing out or slurring my words and numb on half my face! I was (just) panicked.
So, I went to bed.

This morning I woke up early with smooth move tea kicking in. Had two bowel movements. weighed myself, 105.5. And am now drinking the SWF.
Now with the SWF I always find that as the days go on, it gets harder to get down. My stomach shrinks and can't fit all that water. That was even true this morning. So, what I did is quickly drink 16oz and then take my time finishing the rest. I have the last 8oz to finish. I'll take a pause and do that now.
ok done. I just chugged it.yum.

I have an hour and forty-five minutes until I have to leave to take my son to school.
hopefully the MC will have moved through and done it's magic by then.

and just to throw another AA saying into the MC, ONE DAY AT A TIME!
the 12 steps can be used by anyone and for any addiction. Mine is food.

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