Day 8

Bitter, bitter, bitter...

Date:   12/4/2005 2:09:11 PM   ( 19 y ) ... viewed 3469 times

I am such a bitter person, I was just reading Marion's post on the fasting forum and it made me so jealous. Now I love Marion, I really only wish her success, she is one of the most inspiring cheerleaders on the board and is always around with a kind word and encouragement. But she is thin(I know she does not think she is) and she lost over 20 lb in 10 days water fasting. I am here plugging along on day 8 and had absolutely no weight loss today and I am the overweight one with lots to lose. I refused to let it get me too down and I forced myself to the gym today and worked out for two hours. Cardio for an hour and then an hour lifting and doing abs. I see no difference in my clothes or the way I feel. My stomach, where all this last bit of weight is, is big as ever, I have a huge gut. A friend of mine was just saying to me how I lost everywhere except my stomach. My pants are big in my legs but I can barely get them zipped over my stomach - when will it go away? I am feeling pretty good, just mentally exhausted, beating myself up over food. I went to a party last night and the food looked just okay, it was actually kind of gross looking but I still had to have this whole internal dialouge about not eating while I was there. A good friend of mine got a plate of food took a bite or two and told me nothing was good as she threw her plate out. But the difference is I would of eaten it even if it was just okay - she only eats stuff she truly likes - god I wish I could be like that. I think it all stems from my childhood when my parents made me eat everything off my plate and I never had options as to what I ate. Now unfortunately I love all food and I am not very picky. People often complain about hospital food, airline food, and cafeteria meals. I have never had a problem eating any of these and feeling satisfied afterwards. What is wrong with me? I wish I was a picky eater. Anyway I am hoping one of these days I am going to be able to report a huge loss to you - I will keep plugging along.
Oh and Marion you keep going girl, I am proud of you and you are an inspiration to me.

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