Life as a Blooming Thousand Petal Lotus

some quiet morning thoughts

Date:   6/29/2006 8:02:18 AM   ( 18 y ) ... viewed 3640 times

I do believe that I am in the beginning stages of this stage of life evolution. I didn't know exactly what I wanted when I walked out of this house to be married. Actually, at one point on my honeymoon I was quite confused. I began doubting myself during the second half of the honeymoon when I began to secretly worry about spending money,etc. esp. on food. The preparation for the wedding exhausted me in every way and I do believe the lack of nutrition, physical and spiritual, contributed to my breakdown in body, thoughts and emotion. However, I began to tell myself over and over that I must let go and enjoy this time. I began to think about living life in the mountains with fresh,clean air and wildlife. The opportunities that would present itself began to motivate me to feel better. It was amazing though. When I stepped off the plane from JFK sick as a dog, I feel so happy to be married. If I wasn't so sick, I would have been kissing on my man the whole time we were waiting for luggage.

Man was not meant to be alone. I thought of myself as his helpmate but seeing him happy helped me beyond measure. Anyway, I am sitting here thinking of how I'm now beginning to feel the differences between single and married states of being. I do believe that regular marital relations makes a person more united with their spouse. Maybe it's just everything distilling down to my basic spiritual DNA level. I got a really good night's sleep last night. I was pretty sleep deprived over the honeymoon because it's hard to go from sleeping alone to sleeping with someone else. Sleep is so vital to rest and recovery. Your body produces vital body repairing hormones during sleep. Anyway, I always play my DNA cds while I sleep so I believe that has begun to take effect on me.

I am not afraid to move into this next stage of my spiritual evolution. I thought I was afraid but I felt that making it down the aisle to get married was a great vaniquishment of fear. I conquered a lot of fears, such as dancing in public,etc. Why fear becoming an enlightened spiritual being having human experiences? Such a journey is exciting to me.

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• Fear is understandable yet temporary   by kerminator     18 y