my internet addiction by Ren Blog entry

Blog: Uncovering The Starchild Within
by Ren

my internet addiction

special message for Deradune

Date: 5/19/2006 12:55:04 PM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 3760 times

I understand Deradune completely with the whole internet addiction thing. I can remember the first time I ever went on the internet. Five hours went by and I didn't even realise I missed class. Here was a whole new world for me. This was at a time when the Internet was really lifting off and on its way... that was around 1992. I was having really difficult time adjusting to college life and here was a whole new world! No one hated me, no one judged me...after all, you could pick your friends. It was almost like the game SIMS. I got my own AOL account and began getting into chat, personal ads for friends,etc. I'll get to the real worst of it. At the height of my personal problems when I was experiencing real spiritual,mental pain, I was on the internet for fourteen hours A DAY. I would be on all night and the sun was rise and I was still talking to someone about this or that or wanting to committ suicide. My mom would scream at me to get off the computer,etc.etc. and YES I would miss work or be late because of the Internet.

I don't know when the big turnaround happened. It probably happened after I met a pervert online, my so-called ex boyfriend. I was extremely lonely and emotionally vunerable. I allowed myself to be manipulated into topless photos, sex chat and when I finally did meet this person I was so deluded into thinking how much this person loved me. Soon after that, I think that's when my internet usage began to die down a bit. I didn't spend as much time arguing politics on message boards. The only good thing that came out of my internet addiction was meeting my wonderful fiance. Now my internet usage is down to about four hours a day because my fiance and I talk to eachother,etc. When we get married, my net usage is going to be ideally about two hours per day, no more than that.

There is more to life than the internet. One day you will wake up and go outside and stop being on the internet so much. Also, don't replace internet addiction with other obsessions like rawfood,etc. After my fiance told me I'm doing great and don't be so fanatical, I felt better. He was right and now I feel free to do whatever I want. Whatever I wanted today was to naturally eat oranges, nuts and a huge salad for lunch. No coffees, so scones,etc. Don't sublimate.

I have more to say. That's just a foretaste.

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