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An Update 3.22.13
A short update on my eating, exercise and smoking addictions.
Date: 3/22/2013 2:33:55 PM ( 11 y ) ... viewed 10550 times Last December, I met someone new at the gym who taught me how to do heavy weight training. Ever since I have become addicted. My weight has dropped and goes between 108 pounds to 112 pounds, but I am also very toned. My arms look incredible and my stomach and legs have a lot of muscle but the fat content is a little too high to see it well. I love the weight training because it keeps my mind in balance, it gives me something to look forward to and I never really get depressed because I know I have weight training to look forward to that night. It's ultimately incredible. The only thing is that sometimes, I dont eat all day, then I weight train and eat a big meal and go to sleep. Thats what I did yesterday. I dont think this is very healthy.
Also, what I have noticed on a positive side, is I barely have to take any pain meds for my PMS symptoms which means my diet is better and my hormones are more in balance. This is fantastic. I have cut back on alcohol since I am not depressed and working out takes away sugar cravings.
The only thing is my life has other problems now which were always there, but I didnt always pay attention to. I realize that I need to learn to stay grounded and calm. I am learning, slowly. When I move too fast, I tend to destroy things. Things go haywire. I need to move slow and think before I take action.
I also basically have two boyfriends each with pros and cons.
John is the one who taught me to weight train. Alfonso I have been with for years. I am with both of them and I do honestly love both of them in different ways, but when I am with John, sexuality is open and free and he makes me feel like a woman which is something I have never felt. He makes me want to have babies with him. There is some kind of hormonal connection that matches with us. I can feel it. Yet, he is Catholic and I am not interested in any kind of religion but more personal spiritual emotional and mental growth. I am interested in the spirituality within all things, permeating all things and constantly teaching us to move forwards.
Today, I am quitting smoking because I dreamed of a cute cat who turned into a psychic woman and talked to me about the dangers of smoking. I will never smoke again after that dream.
Coffee, tea and food and exercise will be my comforts.
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