Day 14 of Water Fast by Sacristia Blog entry

Blog: My Health Journey
by Sacristia

Day 14 of Water Fast

My daily Journey to a healthier life style

Date: 1/20/2011 3:49:45 PM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 43819 times

January 17, 2010

I made it to DAY 14! I can't say that it was very easy. If anything, I had energy that was waning back and forth. I would feel good for a moment and then feel very ill. I laid in bed most of the weekend, not doing much, as I tried to go into town and do things, but I found myself wanting to gag while I was out shopping for toiletries, which is never good. Some times smells were really making me feeling ill as well.

When I got up, I tried on a slimmer pair of size 10 jeans that I have. I have to say that I looked really great. I did my hair, put some earrings in and I was off. I went to Odd Lots and looked at things. Just walking around to get a bit of exercise. I saw some gardening things, which I can't wait to start planting a container garden this year. I wanted to last year but I didn't have the money nor the time. This year I will. I found some lovely long deep planters that I have decided that I will buy (maybe 4 or them) I want to grow grape tomatoes and regular tomatoes, lettuce, radishes, beets, beans and peppers, cucumbers, green onions, and onions. Last year my Generic Dad had a big garden, where one of the things he grew was peanuts! I really miss having a garden. When I lived at home, both me and my brother worked in the huge garden we had. It was lovely to have beans, broccoli, squash and pumpkins. I can't wait until I start my container garden. I have to do some research on it, since I haven't gardened in years. I want to be prepared.

Finally during late night around 9:00 p.m. I broke down and juiced some of my veggies. It was just a small hand full of diced beets, a couple baby carrots and a whole tomato. I have to say that the smell was wonderful. I only poured about 4 ounces in my 8 ounce cup and drank very slowly over what seemed like an hour. It tasted wonderful, but it didn't really help with the awful taste that I had in my mouth.

At least I started feeling a bit better then I had, as well as my energy perked up. I really needed that, since there were things I needed to do, like laundry. I haven't been cleaning much, as I either don't have the energy or that I am too darn cold to want to do anything. That is one thing I really hate about fasting, is that I end up getting so very cold and to top it off it is WINTERTIME! Ugh! So I could tell a difference in energy right away as well as I did feel a bit warmer, but then it could have just been me.

I am planning on juicing a couple days and then returning back to water fasting, as I am still on solely liquids.

Laying in bed during the day, I wrote a poem, which I had done for months and months. At one time, I used to write a poem a day, reflecting on how I felt, but being so stressed out and busy, I forgot how to.

In the darkness of the night,
My eyes are blind to the future
I struggle to have hope, so I fight
But to move forward, I need closure

Some days I see the light,
And other days I don't
I want to do what is right,
Yet, when I try, I feel alone

When my heart is in pieces
It is hard to stand up to my fears
In my loneliness, it only increases
No one to see my pain or my tears

I wrote it mostly due to me missing Phil a bit. We talked a bit and I found myself coming away more worried and upset then feeling happy that he called. I guess I wish that he would tell him how he feels about me. If he misses me, then why can't he just say that. I really wish I could just wipe him from my memory completely, as it would be easier for me as well it wouldn't eat at me like it does at times. It is all about acceptance, and wanting to feel loved and accepted by him, and not knowing, since even in the last year or so, he wasn't very clear about it. He keeps his heart so closed most of the time. I wonder how many other woman have suffered because of him being like that.

I am trying not to worry about it. I keep telling myself it is not my problem anymore. That I should worry about myself and what I am doing with my life, for it is certain that he doesn't care to be part of mine. I can't say that it is easy, but I am working on it. If can only get past this hump in the road, then the traveling will be much better then it has been. I guess I should look for the future and have hope. That is what my mother has been telling me since he moved out.

Sigh, I just need to work on it more, as I am doing poorly at it most of the time.

EXERICISE: Walking

WATER INTAKE: Unknown

WEIGHT: 122