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Day 1 Did not finish yesterday - 177.6 lbs.
How guilt can sabotage your fast
Date: 5/8/2009 8:58:44 AM ( 15 y ) ... viewed 1755 times I really feel angry at myself. I had been doing so well, I was 4 hours away from making it to Day 2, and I really wasn't feeling very hungry and thought that I would be able to make it. But then I met my husband after work and I basically felt guilty about not eating with him and I was convinced to break the fast.
Mind you, yesterday was our anniversary (we are newly weds)and he said he really wanted to celebrate it with me by going out to eat our favorite meal.
This is what he said:
1. It's our anniversay and we need to celebrate;
2. I hadn't really started the fast since it was only Day 1 and I could start again tomorrow;
3. When I suggested that I go with him and only he eat, he said it would be weird and no fun if I just sat there not eating;
4. When I suggested we go home and he could eat at home, he said okay but I knew he was hungry and I felt guilty;
= mix this with some acid reflux, some hunger and I caved
In retrospect, it probably wasn't the best idea to start a fast the day before your anniversary! It took around 15 minutes of cajoling and I finally gave in to going out for sushi with him. BUT, I also made him swear that after this meal, he would not ask me to eat with him, nor would he eat out for the next 2 weeks. He agreed.
I now know that there is going to be other challenges to my fast...my guilt. When I had done fasts in the past I was single and at home and didn't have anything around to tempt me. The only thing tempting me was the food itself. Now that I am married and am with my husband all the time, I am constantly tempted to do things with him, including eat! It's hard enough to stick to a fast due to the hunger, the detox feelings and the craving for food. But to also have to withstand the feelings of guilt of not sharing a meal with your spouse or just looking like a party pooper when you try to keep from eating in the face of active persuasion. That is just WAY WAY WAY too hard.
So I have to learn to focus on myself and not care about anything else bu tthe fast!
Regardless I ate sushi with him and I gained weight from it. I weighed myself this morning and was 177.6 pounds. Up .6 pounds from yesterday. All that rice and tempura did me in.
I will be starting my fast today at around 6:00 p.m. tonight (I like to start in the evenings since I feel it makes it easier). I'll post my starting weight when I wake up the next morning and that should be the begining of my fast. I have no other social engagements for the next 18 days so I have no excuse not to stick to the fast!
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