Beginning the first day of this journey
Date: 3/7/2009 9:19:19 AM ( 13 y ) ... viewed 1662 times
March 7, 2009
Wow. It doesn't feel like it's been 5 months. Oh well. Here I am at Day 1 again. My intention was to fast 40 days through Lent, so minus Sundays but that didn't go so well. Ash Wednesday was about 10 days ago and work was insane, I didn't feel well, all kinds of good stuff. I tried starting a few times this week also but food is EVERYWHERE. It's ridiculous. It's so frustrating for me.
I've known for a long time that food is an addiction. Now I can understand how I've been using it as my coping skill. I use food to cope. When I have a bad breakup and when I'm overly tired and when my day has been long and hard I turn to food and it's always there to offer comfort. So how do you just turn that off?
If I know but one thing it is that God would never ever give me something I couldn't handle. We choose to give up and we choose to surrender when God was there the whole time just waiting to be asked. I strongly believe that this fast is possible because all things are possible through Christ, who strengthens me. I believe that my Lord and Savior is here to guide me and give me strength when I feel weak.
I'm in bad shape physically. I bought a really nice scale and this morning I weighed 292.0 lbs. I'm trying to block that out somehow and not dwell on it because if I'm upset I'll want to eat something. The hardest part is getting started. I did a 5-day juice fast at the beginning of February and it was nothing.
Today I have plenty to do. I have church council/ vacation bible school stuff to work on, a book to read, water to drink, timesheets to fill out. I just can't wait to say that it's like Day 18 or something higher than 1...
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