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Self Improvement Day 6
Ok its obvious i have to start to work on my career!
Date: 5/2/2008 3:33:59 PM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 3035 times Day 6
Task 1: Make a list of the items, resources, gifts and opportunities you are presently entrusted with stewarding. Beside each one describe how it came to you (for instance, you were born with it, someone gave it to you, you worked on it), and then note how much control you had over how it came to you. Finally, jot down how you think God would like you to invest each item on your list and how you can pursue this investment.
Resourceful – Taught to me by my mother but also worked on
Communicator – Learnt thru practice
Motivator – born with it
Optimistic – born with it
Strong sense of self – A little of everything
Organizer – comes naturally to me so must be a trait I was born with, also taught from my father
Compassionate – both taught and natural my mother very compassionate person
Born into middle class – given to me
I’m not sure how I can answer how much control I have over these things. Some things I was born with but it was up to me to cultivate them. Other things I was shown but it was up to me to listen and learn. Others I worked on. But I truly believe I am who I am for a reason and I meant to achieve something with my life. I am meant to help others. I have been given too many things not to! Some people go thru their whole lives without oppurtunity to even consider how they can improve there life. They are too busy just trying to survive it. Here I am with the time/ resources and ability to analyze and work on improving my life. What an amazing gift that is!
I really believe I am meant to invest these goals in a number of areas in my life. One is my family particularly my parenting. The other is my dream job. All of these talents/ traits/ gifts could be used to help others. I want to pursue this. The fact that I was born middle class with a loving family is even more reason I want to give more. I was given the opportunity to grow up not having to go hungry, cold, alone, abused, unhappy……so many gifts. I was given more and it is expected of me to be more, to give more back!
Task 2: When have you been disappointed in God? How did He not come through for you the way you wanted Him to? How did this affect your relationship with Him? How can you exercise trust in Him your loving father even when you feel disappointed?.
I have never been disappointed. I believe the way we live our lives directly impacts each and every soul in the universe. I cannot blame one person for something that went wrong. It is collectively all of our fault. Also I believe everything happens for a reason we just need to take the time to find out what the reason is and work on it. It does not mean I don’t get angry or upset or hurt when things don’t go my way. But what is the lesson.
I remember one day we were sitting on our verandah, we lived directly over the ocean and we were waiting for a baby sitter to come because we were going out for the evening. We heard commotion on the beach and ran down to the back yard to see what had happened. It was not unusual for my husband and friends to grab a surfboard and go out and rescue someone in the ocean. We also had a small river running into the ocean. There were two men running on the beach screaming a name. I couldn’t understand what they were saying but it was quite clear that something awful had gone wrong. The surf life saving club came over. A little boy was missing. The father and uncle were fishing in the ocean and the boy 10 yrs old was playing on the bed of the river. This river at times you could walk across and only get wet up to your ankles other times you had to swim because you couldn’t touch the bottom. The little boy had fallen in. A group of men made a chain and waded thru the water to try and find him. They found his little body on the bottom. He was not breathing. They tried to revive for a long time. It was awful to watch the scene before my eyes. Once we realized he was dead I just felt such anger. Why wasn’t someone watching him? And then I saw the complete grief and despair in his fathers and uncles faces body eyes and voice. They did not realize this was even a possibility. A family day at the beach. They like so many others that had come before, have had a wonderful day, caught some fish and gone home to loved ones to share there catch. On this day there would only be horror and blame and guilt.
It was no ones fault it was an accident. Why this boy why this day? Why was I there to witness it? I have to believe the boy was taken for a reason and he is in a better place. I have to believer I was witness to it to make me realize how fragile life is and tomorrow is not promised to anyone. I have to remember not to judge a person so easily. No one meant for this to happen. You cannot say the father was irresponsible he was less than 15 ft from the boy at the time. I have done the same thing as many others have and not lost a child. I have to believe suffering on this earth is to teach us all to live better lives to do better to be more compassionate help our fellow mankind. Live a good life. I truly believe if we all lived our lives for the greater good of all rather than the great good of ourselves tragedy and suffering would disappear from this world. We know how to fix this world we just chose not to do it. I cannot blame God for this I believe it is up to each and every one of us to heal the universe. And for those of us like me who have been given more than others it is even more important to do this.
Task 3: Write down one risk that you believe God is calling you to take presently in your life. Describe your fears about taking this risk. Describe the worst-case scenario if you take this risk and fail.
Definitely my career. I remember my sister in law asking me at a very young age probable 10or 11 what I wanted to be when I grow up. And I said I want to work in a missionary in a third world country. I was actively going to church then and the idea of doing that seemed to me just about the best thing on earth. Well that feeling has not left me and I know will not leave me. It is my calling it is my passion. I enrolled in nursing course at college with the whole idea of one day working in a third world country. I backed out at the last minute I had three children and just didn’t know how I could do it all and be the kind of mother I wanted to be. I still look at this from time to time. I have had other opportunities I have turned down. I had a friend who directed a women’s shelter where they allowed the mothers to stay 6 months post partum. The job was ideal. But I was worried about putting my kids in daycare the travel and most of all how could I commit to such career and still commit to my family. I just didn’t see how I could do both. Well now I am in a position where I can do both. My kids are old enough and I don’t need to be as physical present as I always have been. Its time to work on this!
I will not fail if I start this. It is not in my nature to fail. I am afraid I will become so committed in it that I will change somewhat and it will be hard for my family to adapt. I am afraid they will become jealous of my time spent away. But then when I think about it I am sure they will be supportive. Its just me making up stupid excuses. I have to start and go slow. It doesn’t have to be a big change. I can start with a few subjects and move on from there. I am afraid I will be spending money and not making it and what that means to our family lifestyle. But so much of what we earn is wasted now on things that don’t matter.
Thoughts:
I have being given so much- I’m in a position to help, so fortunate I want to use this to help others.
Don’t live how I think other people want me to live. Live how I know I am meant to.
Trust in karma.
Patience and look for love in all mankind – it is there!
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