Blog: Finding my way to myself...
by b2reflect

Have finished a day...

new beginnings

Date:   1/2/2008 12:48:30 PM   ( 14 y ) ... viewed 1920 times

On January 1st, I began my new beginning! I started a fast. For as long as I have oranges, it will be an orange juice fast. After that I will contemplate on either doing the Master Cleanse or continuing the orange juice or what. I will be fasting for 40 days.

I am in the process of cleaning my body, clearing my mind and opening my Spirit to new levels. I am also open to the fact that in fasting, my body will release extra weight that no longer is needed .

In 2005, I began on a journey to become who I AM. I released alcohol from my life, yet took on more sugar consumption than when I was drinking. I realized that the sugar was 'my protection' as well as the weight gain. I looked back at a notebook that I have to show my weight and measurements over the past few years. Since I stopped drinking I have gained 20 pounds. It is time to release that. It is time to release the 'fear' that kept me 'protected'.

In doing this fast, I AM going to look at and then release with Love, the things that have been holding me 'still'.

In 2005, I also began a conscious withdrawal of dating. I knew I needed to 'stop the insanity' that had kept occurring in my relationships. I finally realized I was the 'common denominatior' to all these different faces, names, shapes and YET SAME (essentially) type of relationships.

In doing this fast, I AM going to move past my 'fear' and now that I have learned what I have learned, am going to ALLOW myself to enter into a healthy, loving relationship with a man who is also in awareness of what he desires. We will be on the same path following a similar journey. I AM not accepting just anyone.

I have learned much over the past 2+ years. I AM now going to utilize that information to MY BEST good. I have been utilizing SOME of it. I know I AM a better Me than I was back then. I AM continuing on becoming the BEST ME, I can be.

I AM a healer. I AM open and ready to learn the extent of what that means. I AM ready to HEAL MYSELF and others.

Yesterday began my fast. It was a good day, mostly. I went for a massage. I kept bringing myself back to NOW, while I was laying on the table, I was thinking of what had to be done, what was going to be, and so on. I made myself come back and feel the experience. LOL Although, there were a few times that maybe I should have gone back to the past or into the future! There were some very tight spots....owwww!

After that, I came home and played on computer for about a half hour then went to nap. I still hadn't had anything to consume. At 6 pm, I got up from nap and made an orange juice, I had 2 of them. I then watched "Stardust". It was a delightful (at least, for me) movie. I returned it, then called a couple friends out of state, to wish Happy New Year, then puttered on computer. Went to bed about midnight, with a small headache. Otherwise, it went well.

This is MY year of NEW BEGINNINGS. This is MY year of finding ME, the REAL ME and becoming the REAL and BEST ME.

I AM.

Love, Light and Peace,
Beth

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