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Work, work, work... 19 y
... hope I can get through it.
I just found out I’m going to have to work all weekend this weekend and probably next weekend. I may also have to travel out to the East Coast beginning of the week thereafter (i.e. beginning November.) I hope that I don’t get the fatigue that I had last time, because then it’ll be a real drag. I also hope that it helps me pass the time on my fast so that I can be a little closer to the point where I can slowly start eating again, having reached my goal weight and feeling svelte.
That IS still a long time away.
I bet many others are soon going to start worrying about Thanksgiving and the ... read more The real work is yet to come. 19 y
... and fasting as healing.
There’s a lot of talk about fasting healing past wounds, and, in the process, old wounds aching again in the healing process. I’m not sure I completely buy into that... a lot of the fasting information is a bit esoteric for my taste... but I have been thinking about the past of my eating disorder. As I think about how it would be to lose the weight that I gained in my binge episodes, I think of my days in high school and my first years in college when my eating disorder was really bad. How I was consumed with eating, how I gained and lost, and gained and gained... How I struggled to find t ... read more How does the rest of the world manage to diet... 19 y
... on a kg system?
I used to live in Europe, and there, let me tell you, just like nobody gets excited about losing half a pound, nobody gets excited about losing half a kg. So, what a grim diet experience it must be! In fact, even though they don’t use pounds for anything else, some people refer to pounds (which are actually 500 grams, not like the American pound), when they talk about weight loss.
In-ter-est-ing...
The other thing is that when I translate my current weight into kg, it still seems extremely heavy, and I seem like a hefty girl. I was skinnier when I lived there, at least at times. Another ... read more Little results make me happy... 19 y
... and keep me patient
As I had mentioned in an earlier post, I have a tendency to buy clothes that are too small for me to inspire me to lose weight. In the past, it has not really worked to my advantage, and a lot of pants in particular have gotten eventually passed on because they were no longer my style and I had not lost weight in time to fit into them. Now, however, I am experiencing that I am finally fitting into some of those jeans and slacks that I had bought in the hope of losing weight. Just today, I found that I can finally comfortably and decently wear a pair of black slacks that I could only squeez ... read more Slowing weight loss... 19 y
...is discouraging, but makes me realize that what is needed now is patience.
I was so curious whether drinking only water as opposed to artificially sweetened drinks, teas, and sodas would increase my rate of weight loss. I was so curious whether after eating for a day, my metabolism had picked up. So, I weighed in after only two days, which I normally never do because it’s too discouraging. On Monday I weighed 125. Today I weighed 123.6, which means I lost 1.4 pounds in two days. So, I’m guessing as the fast progresses, the weight loss will go down to .5 pounds per day. :::sigh::: That’s not too surprising, I guess, since I’ve been fasting for a while and since I ... read more Patience 19 y
... is the key
It’s all about patience. That’s the answer to the difficulties I am having with the fast. To feeling tired and slow: Be patient with yourself and give yourself more time to rest and get things done. To ennui: Be patient and time will pass, the days fasted will accumulate, and weight will drop.
Also, looking back at some of the older posts on the fasting for weight loss forum, I appreciate that my symptoms are not that bad. Even when I fasted for 24 days, my complaints were that I felt cold and tired. Now I’ve been having some back pain (which may be from sitting in my office chair all t ... read more Being cold... 19 y
... in Fleece pants
I love that, though I’m cold, at least with the weight that I have managed to lose so far, I can look not so bad in Old Navy Performance Fleece Yoga Pants--I think they’re generally not very flattering if you are not in love with your thighs. I had to get myself some in all colors, since even when I’m not fasting I like to have toasty warm clothes to hang out in so that I don’t have to heat so much. :)
I also love that, though I’m cold, at least I don’t have to pay for water in the place I’m renting, so I can take a big hot bath any time I want to.
Glasses half full or half empty... ... read more Tired.... 19 y
Fasting fatigue...
I’m feeling a lot of fatigue today. I slept about 7 hours at night but then took a 4 hour nap in the afternoon, which now means I have to go in late to work to catch up. Well, at least I have that flexibility. I hate that now when the fatigue is starting to get to me, things at work are picking up and I’m getting more busy. On the one hand, when I’m busy at work, it’s a distraction that keeps me on track, but on the other hand, it’s hard to get through sometimes.
Ok, work to do now... visit the page Thoughts on breaking the fast and post-fast eating 19 y
Vegetables and then low carb.
I thought about it, and I thought about it, and I’m actually still thinking about it, because it gives me something to do and plan while all I have to do in the eating department now is ... well ... nothing.
I’ve read a bunch of stuff about breaking the fast, and it’s clear that you have to break the fast with easy-to-digest, light foods. It’s also clear to me that it takes a while for the metabolism to get back to normal. So, you could basically either have fruits or vegetables, or both. I think I will go for vegetables. Perhaps I will make some soup for the first day, just a puree of ... read more Fasting ennui 19 y
Waiting for results, not suffering, not fighting, not struggling, just waiting.
Is that the word?
It’s not tougher or easier than my first stab at the fast. I do see it as two separate attempts to fast, even though I only broke it for one day. In part, because it’s my second try, there are now so many more days in front of me before I will have achieved the same length, the same number of days that I had before. Of course, I only regained a little bit of weight in those few days, and I won’t need to fast as long as if I hadn’t had that first 24-day fast. But, just in terms of accomplishment, I feel like I’m still very far behind where I got to last time. I do place a ... read more Oh, this is very comforting... 19 y
Having a place to think and talk when time is slow.
Whoever is reading this... I’m not as neurotic and messed up as the last posts may have suggested. I’m more like a light version of Bridget Jones normally. (I can’t really stand R. Zellweger and didn’t think that movie was great, but it does exemplify so many women’s relationship to their bodies and their diets.)
While it causes me some anxiety to think about post-fast eating (not that there’s any question that I will in fact have to resume eating... the question is how...) it also gives me great comfort when I think about the options that I have and think about how doable it seems now. ... read more Defensive... 19 y
That's not me! I hope.
I was looking through the ”recommended” posts on the fasting for weight loss website, and many of the posts were exactly about what I have been thinking about and struggling with since coming across this website. It’s painfully apparent that some of the people in the forum are struggling with binge eating disorders. I say this with compassion and in recognition of how painful it is... because I used to suffer from the same thing.
And of course, these recommended posts that advise people that they have a problem, should not be fasting, should be getting help; that fasting is not the solu ... read more What I love about blogging... 19 y
... is that I can record everything without bugging anyone.
Even the most banale things. :) I love it. I’m having such a slow day at work today that I’m having a ton of time to post. (Have you noticed??) So, geez, this is a lot of water to drink. I’m still not at that point where my urine runs clear. ::: sigh ::: This kind of thing is really more comfortable when you are at home. Perhaps I could put in a request to telecommute? ;)
What’s so nice about posting in this kind of forum is that the audience is so targeted that people really can understand each other’s musings and can empathize with what they are going through. It’s quite extraordinary ... read more Eating disorders 19 y
... and fasting ... and me
So, I mention in the short explanation to my blog that I used to have an eating disorder, that I now have in control. I feel so sad reading the blogs and comments from others fasting who still seem to be right in the middle of a terrible struggle with their own eating. I feel a bit defensive talking about this, because obviously one of the symptoms of an eating disorder is restrictive eating, i.e. fasting. So, all that being said...
I started having an eating disorder when I was really young. I was in fourth grade or so, and I just remember that I was distressed about weighing over 29kg ... read more Time, time, fly away... 19 y
... and how I keep myself on track when it doesn't.
Fasting in and of itself is not fun to me. I know it’s a great experience for some people who have delicious juices on mountains, living in wooden huts, meditating... I just have to go to work and pull this off at the same time, so if the time just could go by a little faster, that would be fine for me. Keeping track of the time is a key thing. I have little post-it flags all stuck in a row in one place and each morning, in celebration of the successful day behind me, I write that day’s date on it and transfer it to the ”completed” row. I love little gimmicks like that. Have plenty of them ... read more The fasting experience for me. 19 y
The fasting experience, the symptoms, the frustrations...
Slow day at work today, so I could have just continued on writing in that earlier post, on and on and on, but I figured it’s more helpful to anyone searching for specific information to break it up.
First of all, I have to explain what exactly I was doing on my first attempt to fast: My focus was mostly on calories. I thought that as long as I restrict very drastically the calories consumed, I would have a fasting-type weight loss. In other words, I did not stick only to water but also had sugar free drinks, herb teas, and sometimes even broth, which after all only has 5 calories per cu ... read more The basics 19 y
The basics: Weight, height, the fast so far, the fast ahead.
There are so many things I want to talk about here, but let’s start in the immediate present and work from there:
Height: 5’5”
Start weight: 140
Current weight: 125
Fasting:
24 days on water, sugar free drinks, teas, and sometimes, broth (lost down to 122)
Fell off the fast for a day, ate heavy starchy foods
Restarted the fast right away, and after two days on the new fast I’m now at 125.
I’m now trying to do a water-only fast. The one thing I will resort to otherwise, if it gets too glum or I get to be feeling too weak, is some vegetable broth. It only has a few calories, an ... read more |