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Encounter with Structured Infinity (pt2.) 18 y
the next in a continual serial of psychic poetic revelation
Through the forest
spring wind
down the path less travelled
Valkyrie women and of unicorns
Garden of Eden I saw myself
the innocent me not alone
annother one
together, holding hands
playing as the day we were born
my eternal soul mate
the friend my heart longed for
young children naked
innocent
eating the fruit of life visit the page Bikram Yoga: Good for you, Good for Me 18 y
a little this and that
I started practicing bikram yoga at a local studio. It’s just AMAZING. Everything in it’s time. I knew one day I’d end up in a yoga studio but the cost factor precluded me from attending. My sister mentioned taking bikram yoga in the city and WONDERS NEVER CEASE my local bikram yoga place was offering a month’s worth of classes for thirty bucks!!!! I had to seize the day and I actually look forward to going to class. I’m a little hungry now but I’m going to bed.
Tomorrow I’m following through on my ’no eating till twelve’ plan. I did it today. I am allowing myself to eat whatever I want ... read more Mermaid Food and Mermaid Love 18 y
Day two of the Great Blizzard 2006!! :D
Someone as obsessed with mermaids as I used to be. Meeting my inner child for the first time in a long time has ignited some old childhood facinations of mine.
http://www.tatiana.info/pictures/mermaid.html
Anyway, I’m preparing for another journey inward to see if I can befriend and reunite with my inner child. If I don’t do this, I will not be able to move through the eight gates of the underworld of the inner self. When you decide to turn inward and make a meditation journey into the shadows, you can’t force/rush the process. Investigating the dark aspects of one’s self is very di ... read more Moon Time Poetry 18 y
first installment in the serial poem 'Encounter with Structured Infinity'
Well okay I don’t if this is inspired by my period or by being snowing in and having no Starbucks :-) but here it goes. My first visionary piece of poetry.
Encounter with Structured Infinity Part 1
by Ren the curezone blogger
God spoke to me from The Deep.
Deep calling to a smaller,shallow pool
Father of the Universe sends emissaries to his starchild
From the Astral Shower of the First Gate
A Glimpse of Innocent Me
Fear consuming me, I retreat
Retreat to negative foods, negative emotions
Surround myself with dark mood
Painful silence of alienation
visit the page Wintering In, Late Periods and Marriage Drama 18 y
piles of snow and depressed loved one
Well here I am snowed in. I had two cups of tea, some fresh applesauce with yogurt and a few spoons of unprocessed bran, oh and two slices of live bread earlier this morning. I don’t think I’ll eat for a while now since my activity level is zero :D I’m reading curezone, reading thegardendiet.com, going through Jinjee’s journal and listening to the Breakthrough DVD.
I’ve noticed that my period didn’t start out crampy. It’s also late too by a day or so. I didn’t have a nasty, clumpy mucus-y show that announces it’s arrival like I usually do. I ate more raw fruits this month, drank kombuc ... read more Wedding Dress Wonders and Noreaster Woes 18 y
a little this and that
Hello everyone. I have a nice update. Yesterday I went to try on my new wedding dress and it zipped up all the way. It’s a fourteen (I’m a twelve) and the dress is being shipped from the manufacturer at the end of April. I no longer care about getting down to a particular size. The saleslady asked if I’ve been on a diet *LOL* Well sort of :-) I’ve started going to a bikram yoga studio. The bikram yoga has me seriously evaluating my dietary reality and my goals. I’ve reviewed my blogpost on the documentary Breakthough and am really wanting to dial in my diet and purify my body. It’s no long ... read more Age is Just a Number 18 y
this and that report
Aside from my eternal salvation in Jesus Christ the Lord, I’ve been slowly coming into a consciousness about physical immortality. I don’t agree with all of his ideas, esp. about population control, but the books by Leonard Orr and Sondra Ray are so fascinating. The deep breathing exercises are very energising to say the least. Anyway, I visited my fiance this weekend and came away with even more energy and dedication to continuing the path I started a year ago almost. I do want to turn back my ageing clock. I have no fear getting old because old to me means something very different than w ... read more The Real Agenda of Planned Parenthood 18 y
Choose Natural Life
God put something on my heart this morning about an experience of mine so here it is!
The real agenda of Planned Parenthood isn’t abortion, it is the systemic sterilisation and poisoning of women with their birth control and depo provera. I remember when I went to a PP clinic as I was panicking about my later diagnosed genital warts. It was against my beliefs about abortion but I went because I figured it would be a learning experience. Well WAKE UP ALL YOU PROTESTERS... it’s not really about abortion. It’s about poising our blood streams with birth control pills.
It’s also about som ... read more If the back don't fit, the dress ain't legit! 18 y
some this and that
Well people I tried on my wedding dress. I thought my fat belly would be a challenge but no... it’s WIDE ASS BACK. It’s just like my fiance said, we both come from peasant stock. Can I help it that I built like a Sicilian mountainwoman? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.... anyway after shopping for dresses I can see why some brides go crazy. It’s really AGGRAVATING to be FAT and try on dresses. You should have seen me sucking in stomach and having the saleslady lace me up in the bridal corset. I have to say that it really holds you in and I want one :D Anyway, I’m so over dress shopping. Tomorrow it’s a ... read more When a loved one is depressed 18 y
some news about my relationship
How does a person support a loved one who is depressed in a holistic,emotional, even psychic-spiritual sort of way? My fiance is experiencing profound depression right now and I’m thinking of ways to help him. It is our distance apart that prevents from helping him eat the right things and exercise. There’s really no one looking out for him where he is. He’s all alone.
All I can do is pray for him. Friday morning I’m going to church and saturday and sunday as well. I’m abstaining from my favorite things, namely Starbucks and scones. I don’t know what I will do but I do know one day duri ... read more Fighting and Depression 18 y
some depressing news
I had an exchange of words with my fiance and now we are not speaking. I have work tomorrow and am truly depressed. I also didn’t eat well today as it is and just made an omlet for myelf. Yes I know. It’s nothing something that I should have but eating it made me feel good...for all but five seconds. I hate going to work depressed. I hope that I will feel better in the morning. I hope that I won’t need coffee to keep me from flying off the handle. I wish I could say that my first instinct is to drink some juice or wheatgrass but right now all I have is a visual of a Starbucks buffet.
Ri ... read more I got a temporary job 18 y
brief note about my state of employment
I received an assignment for some temporary data entry work. It’s three days a week and the money is very good, compared to what I made at Wh*le F**ds. Let’s pray I have good managers and that I do the best job that I can do. I’ve never had a data entry job before. I do know it’s a lot of work so time should go by fast. visit the page Depression has returned...somewhat 18 y
brief afternoon thought
I was getting my hair done today. I found myself thinking why am I getting my hair done like this? It’s not as if I’m going to work. I began to think about getting fired,etc.etc. The depression came back. I ate a sicilian slice of pizza and half a bagel with lox spread. The lox spread made me ill, too heavy a food and also the bad karma from the dead fish I think. Anyway, I’m watching America’s Next Top Model and this guy just told this girl that her size 39 hips aren’t what he’s looking for, as in she’s too big. That’s effed up. She’s thinner than hell and she’s still too big *LOL* I wond ... read more From the Mermaid pool, God speaks! 18 y
brief note about a very fateful mail arrival
I had ordered a Splash poster off ebay two weeks ago, actually more than two weeks I think. Anyway, here is the rendering:
read more Depressed and Alone 18 y
depressed and upset
So while I can finally visualise myself slim with muscle and wearing my wedding dress, right now I’m plagued with depression. I ate like crazy today when I am supposed to be fasting. I didn’t eat till I felt sick but cheese and tofu made me feel better and forget about my problems (like a street drug!). I was going along training for the marathon in May but I’ve not run in three days. I picked the gym I went to because it was close to the store. Now it seems far away. Everything seems very far away right now. My mother is angry with me over losing my job so she moved my kombucha bowl and r ... read more I was fired today... 18 y
I'm unemployed once again but I'm still alive
Yes I was fired from my job today. A co-worker reported me for taking something from her department and going to the back with it. I was going to the back to go the bathroom and get my card and didn’t know this was against rules. I was stunned someone would rat me out for something that wasn’t true, esp. since I paid for the item. Words can’t describe how I felt, except to say that the level of stress I experienced as I was being dismissed was EXCEPTIONALLY PAINFULLY PHYSICALLY. I had to summon all the strength I had to drive myself home. I wanted to drive my car into the rightside divider ... read more More Thoughts about my personal 'breakthrough' 18 y
more musings
Today I ran/walked in the park for the first time in a LONG time. I did some jump ropes for warm up and stretching so I don’t repeat the calf situation I had last year. Anyway, I had my ipod with me but tomorrow I won’t be taking the ipod. Something within me wants to run without musical motivation. I prefer the ipod in the gym. I wonder why that is. Did I mention I didn’t eat then? I totally collapsed and had Starbucks but later on at work I got a nasty stomach flu sitation and was sent home. Maybe it’s a sign. My mom made pigeon peas for new year and she put pork in it so maybe it’s the ... read more |