well, thanks kermie. i am going through a bit of transition in my thinking,don't know where it will lead me. i have tried so hard at times to be a christian and believe, but too much bad happens and i am just not certain right now if there is this god that many speak of. the whole adam and eve thing with us having a paradise until we sinned and someone had to die so we could sin, just doesn't set well with me and it has proven not to be a real good time on earth, with all the destruction and sickness and death, etc.... no one has been able to prove it definitively either way, although both sides say they can. i just don't know...it was real tough losing tammy faye at 65 and it's real tough losing my cousin to cancer when he is a good guy. he suffers so much and he has always believed in god and been good, so it just doesn't make any sense at all why god supposedly heals some and not others and answers some prayers and not others. i mean, this lady was on 700 club and she said that God healed her foot. well, that is all well and good, but others are dying a miserable death and are not healed, yet they believe and have everyone praying. ifit is all a test of faith, well it's a sick test, i'm sorry. thanks for your post and support, i appreciate it