Dear Harley Girl,
This world is a mess, no doubt, and so many questions, the biggest of which is "Why?" I often wonder this myself. Who doesn't? Stop to consider, "Why not?" I have had many tragedies in the last 14 years, just one after another, and they were catastrophic, which lead to extremely severe suicidal depression and anxiety, the likes of which I hope never to see again and would never even wish on the devil himself. These days, while I have been left with the aftermath of these catastrophes and they will be with me the rest of my days, I have a completely different outlook on life. I would not have been able to have this outlook if I had not gone through what I have been through. While I would never and could never go through it again, I wouldn't trade the life experience I gained for any amount of treasure on this earth. It made me the person I am. Who said life is supposed to be fair? Who said life isn't supposed to be hard? It is all of these things and more. I believe in God. No, I KNOW there's a God. But he's not a God of hellfire, brimstone and punishment. That is the biggest load of claptrap that's ever been sold to the frightened and vulnerable since the dawn of man. God doesn't punish or judge or hate or condemn. We do these things to ourselves and each other. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. That is simply life. The rhyme or reason of it we are not privileged to know, and quite frankly, I don't care why anymore. Everything under the sun happens for a reason, even if we don't know it at the time. Something good can come from every single tragedy that has ever happened. I know that seems like the ultimate paradox. Why does God get blamed for everything? How come we can't lay where it belongs. It belongs to us. We poison ourselves and our planet and then get p***ed off when God doesn't step in to heal and fix things. We sound like a bunch of petulent children. The truth is simply that sh** happens and we have to accept it or live life in a constant state of agitation. (Believe me, I know. I've done this. I know whereof I speak.) As for people dying, everyone dies. Would you want them to live forever? No matter when or how anyone dies, it's always too soon. I know I don't want to be here forever. My father, whom I adored all my life (daddy's girl here), choked to death one year ago today, 8/4. He was all alone in his house, and it makes me crazy to think of the terror he went through not being able to breathe. I wasn't ready for it, but it happened. I never blamed God because he didn't do it. It just happened. I cry for myself, not my father. I know he's in a better place. We cry for ourselves when these things happen because we are left to deal with the horror and grief of it all. Those that move on couldn't care less about the crap they leave behind.
The best piece of advice I can give is: Learn acceptance. Acceptance sounds easy, but it is the hardest thing anyone can ever learn to do. It is a constant, everyday battle to accept. It's human nature to rail against the unchangeable and try to fix the unfixable and ask why. And if you pray, pray for the strength to be able to accept and pray for strength to get you through, pray for peace of mind. These are the things that will give you contentment. If life were easy, what good would that be? We'd have nothing to measure things by, we'd learn nothing. Everyone would walk around like lobotomized robots. It's so true that that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger. As the Rolling Stones so eloquently put it: You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need. Huge difference between the two. I hope I have helped in some small way. These are just some small things I have learned on my own path.
If you're into reading, I might suggest M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled, and the two sequels, The Road Less Traveled and Beyond and Further Along the Road Less Traveled. I personally would dump the 700 Club, but that's just me and I have my reasons for that one.