into day 2 ( thankfully:)

Wow. Its great that I'm into the second day. I had a little tug of war going on in my mind this morning. I then just made a conviction to not have "circular thinking" especially the type of thinking that gets me nowhere. It took some strange willpower that I had to summon up from some unknown place but it worked. I realized that a lot of my problems stem from repetetive thinking ( mostly negative). Well, I think perhaps, that I can put this sort of "habit" into good service by repetetively thinking about GOOD things and GOOD memories and GOOD whatever...

So, it worked. The tug of war went on for about one intense hour where I was driving around in my car thinking of whether or not I should get something to eat ( for no reason whatsoever, since I'm feeling fine and wanting to continue on with this ).

Well, actually , I would have gone home sooner had not two SPECTACULARLY beautiful songs came on the radio and I absolutely HAD to listen to them... sooooooo beautiful it almost made me cry and I don't even know the name of those songs. I jotted down the time though that I heard them. I think I will call the station to find out.

Well, finally I broke through that vicious thought cycle and am feeling more better as of now.

Next on the agenda, : write out my schedule for the day and stick to it. That's about it. That will be my day.

Oh yeah, yesterday evening was great because I did a little mini light work out with a group of people and it was fun. They said they had missed me because I had kind of not been showing up lately and it was fun to see them again and do this work out. It felt good.

I'm thinking also of doing a little light bike riding today to feel the wind on my face plus i really love the fall and i can feel it coming upon me. Just for fun. I'll try to fit that in somehow.

I had a strange thought. Well, the thing is that i can't remember a time when I haven't been super busy and I keep dreaming about the day when I can just 'relax" and not have to do so much. Then again, I think to myself " well... if I didn't have so much to do, what would I do with my time"?

PLENTY!!

I don't think its natural to always have to be so busy. The irony is that I need to be busy in order to some day not be so busy.

Here are some things that I would like to do and am working towards giving myself the opportunity to do sometime in the future ( not all at once, mind you... but some way,, somehow). Here is just a little mini list:

1) white water rafting ( that would be so much fun, I bet... I've only done it once and it was a blast.. I want to do it again)
2) hiking in this place in Colorado that a friend of mine hiked . it looked so pretty. I definetely want to go there and experience all the vibrance for myself
3) going to France.... actually ANYWHERE for that matter... it would be fun to explore new surroundings.

4) learning how to play chess ( i'm not sure why this thought came up. actually, the very idea of having to sit down and think about how to move a chess piece, all of a sudden doesn't sound very inviting to me at all.. I wonder why that came to my mind. Scratch that ( LOL)
5) learning yoga ( now THAT is more like it:) I could easily see myself getting into that rather than the chess thing ( sorry for those who are chess afficionados, nothing personal)

I'm sure I can come up with more things but this is what just popped into my head right now. Oh yeah.. bungee cord jumping ( silly me). I think that would be sort of fun. Off a wooden bridge overlooking some stunning waterfall with some silver chord tied to my waist. I would check, recheck and then check the tensile strength of the chord first though ( that's the kind of person I am) before I venture THAT one but ... yeah.. and there MUST be a body of water beneath me so I can just swan dive in case the rope breaks or something ( yes, I have this all planned out lol:)

Here is the plan for today. Water... half the day. And juice the latter half. or maybe I'll do it the other way around. I'm going to make some Celery juice... this much I know. maybe squirt a bit of lemon in there too.

Here is what I learned from my morning's mental tug of war .

If I am going to drive, I will DEFINETELY have a good reason to do so. Not just some aimless meandering to "get out" because that leads to wanting to break the fast because I'm "off course". Plan my shopping so I don't have to go so many times.

Another lesson that I'm trying to really focus on is this: ( because I hear it so many times but its always difficult to really believe)

and that is that emotions really ARE impermanent. Well, come to think of it, nothing is permanent so... same goes for my emotions. I just thought how pitiful it would be if I spent the rest of my life being ruled by my emotions. It really is QUITE pathetic and I don't want to be that kind of person. It gets old after a while. So, I'm focusing on what I really wish to think about ( because that is also good nourishment and more important than diet or even this fast) . So, I am having to make a conscientious effort to do that which i think I succeeded ( to a good degree) in doing this morning.

Well, this is enough for now. Hope all my fellow fasters are doing well. Its good to be on board here.