Re: I F*** Up!!! Mix business w/ pleasure

"Meeting people online" can be profitable, fulfilling, or lethal. The internet allows for anyone to develop any personality, background, history, gender, or identity that they wish to in order to satisfy whatever it is that they are seeking.
Narcissists find the internet the PERFECT trolling ground to find new narcissistic supply sources. There is a lack of visual interaction (unless people are webcamming), vocal inflections, and healthy social interaction. NPD's are adept at "reading" people, their desires, their hopes, their dreams, their abililty to empathize, and then regurgitating whatever responses that they believe their supply source wishes to read. Once the trap has been set, the NPD will withold/reward, dehumanize, objectify, and tear down their supply sources. i.e., the NPD says, "You seem like such a good, kind person. I'm a good, kind person, too." This statement may note SEEM like a tactic, but it confirms what YOU know to be true and then minimalizes YOUR positive attributes in favor of the imaginary attributes of the NPD - you have just been "objectified!"

It's not just mixing business with pleasure that caused the meeting to go sour (some partners work VERY well in a business arrangement) - it's the whole setup of baiting, luring, and using someone after securing a great nacrissistic supply. I know of people who have baited individuals online for months and months in order to maintain their NPD supply - once a meeting was arranged and the narcissist nailed their supply source, everything ended on a very ugly note. Hopefully, you didn't have sex with this guy - if you did, I would gently suggest that you submit to STD tests, JUST for your own safety. Most somatic NPD's have a veritable stable of supply sources that they keep baited and lured and often indulge in extremely risky sexual behavior.

No reason to make yourself feel badly - this was just one of those learning experiences. I would simply walk away from it and take the lesson to heart so that I would evolve into a stronger, wiser woman and never allow anyone to set me up and use me for their purposes, again. A good site (regardless of the site title) is:

http://www.heartlessbitches.com

The site offers MANY red flags to be wary of when possibly entering a relationship with someone. And, NPD crosses all boundaries of race, gender, sexual orientation, socio-economic background, etc. You sound young enough for this event to have made a serious impact and, hopefully, you will let this experience work in your favor in the future.

Best wishes to you - you'll be just fine! Tweet