Re: What is abuse? What isn't abuse?

"Hidden" abuse is deliberate, to an extent..."

I would even say that everything a human being does is deliberate in some way. But, people do things unaware of their effects on the environment or people they claim to love. And when in that state of mind, which majority of people are in most of the time, people think that they are doing one thing when they are doing another.

Just listen for statements like "But honey, I am only trying to help you!" and you will be on your way to observing the most covert emotional abuse you can find. The abuser really believes they are "trying to help" (not that everyone who uses that phrase is an abuser though), and the abused really believes that it's in their best interest to follow the "help" that is offered. Hence, there is on conscious level nothing deliberate, while on subcoscious level, well a whole book could be written about that...