HI From past experience you cannot live a lie. The only way to find out if he is the one is to try a trial seperation. If you dont miss him then carry on with your life. As a Christian you ony have one life. Do you want to spend it as a martyr? This is you life, but doesn't he deserve more. He deserves someone who loves him in every way and wants to be with him. Not only are you cutting yourself short, you are also not allowing him to find the person he deserves.