Re: Male victim

"I'm so very sorry for the part my gender plays in creating such an enviroment of disregard."

One of the most difficult and unjust occurances in worldwide human culture is rape - an act of violence, control, humiliation, and shame. For men, rape and/or spousal abuse, and/or domestic violence is hardly acknowledged, much less given attention.

It is truly unfortunate that anyone endured the humiliation, degradation, and pain of having such an act forced upon them, but it bears consideration that gender has nothing to do with acts of violence and/or control - men do rape women. Women do rape men. Men rape men. Women rape women. And, all of the above rape children, regardless of the victim's gender. Rape is strictly a criminal act of violence and control. The basis might be sexual, but it's one of the most primal demonstrations of control known in human behavior - rape is NOT about sex. It's about humiliation, degradation, power, control, dominance, aggression, violence, etc...

Seeking counseling/intensive therapy after such a heinous episode would be a very, very wise decision. Choosing a counselor or therapist specializing in abuse and victims of violent crimes is imperative - not all counselors will have the necessary training to actually help a victim of a violent crime take the steps towards Survival. In fact, I had a counselor who nodded with feigned pity that I had been raped by my spouse and, in response to my fears said, "Well, sometimes, men just do things to satisfy their immediate needs." I looked at this "educated" person and realized that he was just accepting fees and offering lip service to people who were in emotional anguish. I got up, left, and refused to pay his fee. I had been the victim of a criminal act and I was treated as if I was expected to accept my lot in Life and excuse my husband for his "manly urges."

Over the years, I've evolved from a victim into a Survivor and worked with many, many victims of domestic violence and abuse. It is a fact that less than 2% of men who are abused, attacked, or raped by a woman never report the incident(s). It's time for men to start speaking out and telling their stories. Perhaps, Oprah should consider having a special show about MEN who have been harmed and damaged by WOMEN! Then, along with Wasa bread, someone might take notice of something that's been long-hidden in worldwide cultures. However, until Oprah makes this a visible issue open to rational discussion, it's up to the men out there to face down ridicule, open their mouths, and report what has (and, is) happening to them at the hands of their partners.

Best of wishes to all of those who have survived this heinous crime.
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