I am a lost loser and I need help

I have never been hee before and not really sure what im doing here now (just know I'm looking for something!) but here goes....

I am soooooooo lost. I have a wonderful husband, 2 beautiful small children, all of whom I looooooooooooooooooooooove to death: a good job teaching 2 days a week.....privileged in a lot of ways............. but I just cant avoid the drink.

Every moment in my life seems to be punctuated with the need for alcohol. I lose weight...I reward myself with a drink. I achieve a work goal ... I reward myself with a drink. Big event coming up... I calm my nerves with a drink. What the hell am I doing???? To the outside world I am well groomed, punctual, organised and dedicated and in reality I'm a mess by 9.00pm.

I live in a small rural town in Australia and although I could join AA I know that I will most definitely not be anonymous............but I would love some support and encouragement online.

If you know what I am going through, please help.....I know this is maybe not the right place to get it....but if you know where I should go I'd be so grateful. I have a problem and I want to overcome it. Help me please.

In love and light

Stix74
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