Stix74…
Welcome. I think you are in the right place. When you were describing your drinking patterns, it made perfect sense to me. I drank like that. If it makes you feel any better, you are not alone. You sound like one of us.

There is a solution. You can live a full and rewarding life without alcohol. Thousands, no millions of alcoholics before you have done so.

But you need to do the things these other women did to get what they got. They went to Alcoholics Anonymous, got a sponsor and worked the steps.

Stix74, this is your life we are talking about, this is your family, this is everything you love we are talking about here. If what you have told us is true, you have crossed that invisible line, alcohol now plays a major and negative role in your life. Alcoholism NEVER gets better on it’s own. But it does and will get a lot worse over time.

What do you think will happen if you find a meeting and go to it? You need to understand that there are women, just like you in that meeting right now. The only difference is they aren’t drinking just for today.

What is more important, your sanity, and family, or your unfounded fear of the unknown.

Follow your heart on this one,
Richard

i understand how important anonymity is to someone in your position... in fact AA was founded by professional people that felt the same as you do... but on the other hand meetings are very important... because you really do need to find a sponsor... someone that you can readily talk to throughout the day... so... perhaps you might consider trying to find a meeting in a neighboring town...

but for now we shall do all we can to be as much help as we can from here... the only thing about meeting here online is that there are very many "anti AA" people that will keep popping in with their off the wall comments/advice... that can and very often does deter you from finding recovery...

anyhow... let's kinda ease our way into the steps so that we can perhaps give you a little insight into what/who you're up against...

step #1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
(this is also known as the surrender step... and since you have found the courage to reach out for help we will consider that you have pretty much taken this step... but be wary... this is the only step that we have to 100% sure of and work 100% of the time... lest we ever forget...)

step #2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
(this step might be a little hard for you to swallow at first because it is questioning your sanity... but in the light of what you have share with us already i would say that you qualify... lol... ;-) so...but try not to let your ego get the best of you... this step can be broken down to perhaps make it a little easier for the beginner to digest... so look at this way... "We came"... "We came to"... "We came to believe"... the bottom line is this... your problems stem from your own 'ego'... your idea of who you think are but truly aren't... and we need help putting this 'beast' back in it's cage where it belongs... and please do not let anything i say offend you... as i am doing the best i can to explain a very touchy subject matter...)

step #3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
(these first 3 steps are all about learning to 'trust God... and learning to 'let go and let God'... if we boil it down to the basics of the program it would be all about learning to 'trust God'... 'cleaning house'... and 'helping others'...)

these are only the first 3 steps... which is enough for you to chew on for now... please feel free to email me if you have further questions... or are troubled and feel a further need of help... i will be most happy to do all i can to help until you can perhaps find someone in your immediate area... and please... if you do decide to email... try to flag it by mentioning AA in the subject line... i get a lot of junk mail and usually delete anything from anyone i don't readily recognize...

remember...
the only major problem... is that there are no major problems...
because...
"it's a wonderful day in the neighborhood"...
lol...
;-)

take care...
God bless...

Dear Stix74,

My heart hurts for you.. I have my own addiction problems.. I started a program through my church called celebrate recovery and I absolutely love it.. they have the program in Australia now as well and it is growing big time there. I am adding the link below for your review. I pray this finds you in good health.

LeeJ



http://www.celebraterecovery.com.au/

Just wondering how you are - we had "the big crash of 2007" in between, and a lot of the messages in your thread got pulverized, so don't think you're forgotten though.

Just check in here or at the "Alternative Alcohol" forum, no matter if you've had success or just want to catch up.

Hope all is going well, and you are experiencing many good things.

MadArt (ist)