Re: I need to say something

I am going through detaching and divorcing myself from my N. I too am having problems by remembering the good times. And there were many during the 21 years of marriage. BUT, I've discovered that these good times were during his time of being on an antidepressant. He was one of the few who had success dealing with narcissism when on the drug. But, it was HIS decision, while on the drug, to go off them. He had done this several times over the passed few years, and after awhile he would see his behavior was destroying me and he would start them again. He knew I could not live with him, with him off the drugs. So this June he decided to go off them again and my "hell" began all over again. Only this time I could see that he had no intention of going back on the antidepressant, and that he no longer needed me in his life. Now when I have those "good times" haunting my thoughts, I redirect my memory to those last few weeks of "hell". I focus particularly on my last few hours before I left. I had fallen down the cellar steps and broke my leg. No, he did not push me. He did go to the hospital with me, but when we returned home, he LEFT me in the back seat of the car, with the walker in the trunk, and went in the house to make a sandwich. He refused to help me or to get my meds. Thanks to neighbors I was able to get out of the car and into the house, where he verbally attacked the neighbors for helping me. I knew then that it was time to go. That's what I have to dwell on, to get through this. Good luck