I need to say something 
skbruning
17 y
2,388
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Hulda Clark Cleanses
At this point, I wish to clarify something......and it is often overlooked.
My NPD can be very, very nice! So much so, that he often comes close to fooling even ME!
I have had to remind myself of something....the fact that he can be wonderful or close to it means NOTHING. Because......it is like a firefighter who goes to battle an awesome, terrible blaze. He puts it out. He is a HERO!
Yeah, but stop.......wait. How would you feel when you find out he is the one who SET THE BLAZE?
That is what an abusive NPD is. I can no longer wishwash back and forth about "He is the WORST thing that has ever happened to me and the best thing that ever happened to me"- (because he supports me now).
He is the one that stripped that ability of me doing that for myself. HE is the one who has battered me senseless time after time. And now he lies about it.
Not going to give him $#*+ for credit. Bottom line. The wrong that he has done can never, ever be "outweighed". Forgiveness- yes. This game of "balance"? Doesn't work that way.
Any thoughts?
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- Re: I need to say something shoredreamer
17 y
2,016
This is a reply to # 814,519I am going through detaching and divorcing myself from my N. I too am having problems by remembering the good times. And there were many during the 21 years of marriage. BUT, I've discovered that these good times were during his time of being on an antidepressant. He was one of the few who had success dealing with narcissism when on the drug. But, it was HIS decision, while on the drug, to go off them. He had done this several times over the passed few years, and after awhile he would see his behavior was destroying me and he would start them again. He knew I could not live with him, with him off the drugs. So this June he decided to go off them again and my "hell" began all over again. Only this time I could see that he had no intention of going back on the antidepressant, and that he no longer needed me in his life. Now when I have those "good times" haunting my thoughts, I redirect my memory to those last few weeks of "hell". I focus particularly on my last few hours before I left. I had fallen down the cellar steps and broke my leg. No, he did not push me. He did go to the hospital with me, but when we returned home, he LEFT me in the back seat of the car, with the walker in the trunk, and went in the house to make a sandwich. He refused to help me or to get my meds. Thanks to neighbors I was able to get out of the car and into the house, where he verbally attacked the neighbors for helping me. I knew then that it was time to go. That's what I have to dwell on, to get through this. Good luck
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- Re: I need to say something skbruning
17 y
2,386
J.Crow’s® Lugol’s Iodine
Free S&H.Restore lost reserves.J.CROW’S®Lugol’s Iodine Solut...
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Hulda Clark Cleanses
This is a reply to # 814,882Your reality just breaks my heart.
So many times I have wracked my mind to see if *I* ever did the sorts of things you describe.........like leaving someone in a car injured and off to make my favorite sandwich. YUM!
But no..............I can honestly say I have never done the sorts of things my NPD did. I may have done other worse sins in my life BUT AT LEAST I TOLD ON MYSELF, TOLD THE TRUTH AND HANDLED REPENTENCE SCRIPTURALLY. Amazing what a difference that can make. Confession, repentence, restoration is God's way. He is a God of 2nd chances, indeed.
The difference with an NPD is that they will not submit to God. They won't submit to truth (it's always "THEIR truth", you notice, and it has no foundation in reality whatsoEVER!)....so I don't have much tolerance for all the games. Seen them ALL. (NPD's ARE "god" so there is no submission involved. Narcissis....quit a mythological character. Too bad it's real.)
Just keep remembering the example of the Hero Firefighter. Turns out HE set the fire.
I cannot tell you how often my NPD has snarled something like, "Yeah....YOU'RE always SICK"....after I've suffered a migraine or am in the middle of one. I just shake my head and think, "My God....this guy hit me so hard in the head and he acts like he wasn't even THERE!" (It truly is like OJ whining that his children have no mother.)
It's the LIES I am struggling so hard with. I am resolved to be happy someday. I will do the best I can in these circumstances but GETTING OUT/FIGHTING for your rightful way of life takes energy I simply no longer have. I already divorced mine once. I am going to let go and let God. Seriously.
Best regards to you as you find your way out.
- Re: I need to say something skbruning
17 y
2,386
- Re: I need to say something shoredreamer
17 y
2,016
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